If you don’t like it, change it – if you can!

If you don’t like it, change it – if you can!

Hi there.
Thanks for popping in.
Still at work.
Don’t feel sorry for me though!
I am here through choice.
Nobody makes me stay;
in fact, nobody even makes me come in!!
Actually, and I can only speak for myself, 
I am exactly where I am in life because of a series of choices 
I have made in my life. 
I try to avoid the word ‘I’ in a sentence usually,
(Farmer Dave always says, when somebody starts on the I I I  trail,
“If a potato had that many eyes in it, you’d throw it away!”
So many poor souls are victims of illness over which they have absolutely no control.
Like darling Jayne Nestorenko. 
This time last week we were at her funeral. 
Now I am pretty sure Jayne didn’t end up in that sorry, devastating  situation at her young age because of anything she had or hadn’t done. 
No. No No. 
So never feel sorry for me because I work ridiculous hours;
it’s not healthy and it’s not ideal, that is correct.
But it IS something I can change if I choose too. 
I KNOW I’m not alone. 
Hands up if you are in a situation which is not what you would wish for, but you could actually do something to change it if you decided to.
I can’t get into any of my clothes at the moment. 
Ate way too many mince pies at Christmas,
and then felt it would be criminal to bin all the surplus chocolate and cake which was left over from the festive season. 
So every day I say, 
“Right, That’s it. No chocolate, cake or bread today. 
Instead I shall walk 10,000 steps for the love of Jayne, 
and eat lettuce.”
The walking is working more or less
(sometimes more than, sometimes less than, 
but the average is right on track).
But for the love of God !!
Why I can’t tell the difference between lettuce 
and Cadbury’s fruit n nut is a riddle to me!!!
High class problem, I know, but unless I change my habit,
those skinny jeans were a total waste of money.
Am I really to resign myself to the Muffin look, 
just because I can’t distinguish between a carrot and a Crunchie??
My choice, you see. 
I am the pilot in my life, and I am very grateful for that too. 
And you ? Are you the pilot in your life ?
Must press on.
Not done yet.
But looky looky!
What do I spy over on yon other desk, next to Jim….
Love & Hugs from

58 thoughts on “If you don’t like it, change it – if you can!

  1. It's gonna be a late one ! But thankfully there are more Maryland Cookies ( other brands are available) in the drawer…..hang on, where have they gone !?!?! Answers on a postcard please … x

    1. Lmao. I moved house recently, that was good for losing a couple of pounds lol but on a positive note proud and happy to be a home owner again, target achieved x

  2. Well I am lucky my life is pretty good , only one thing I would like to change but that is out of our control so just praying instead. You know why you are eating choc instead of lettuce, there are none on the shelves. Mad mad world. Enjoy that cookie you have spied hope Jim does not miss it. Brilliant shows today from Maria gorgeous new plates. xx

  3. Sorry you're still at work, but cookies are at hand! I need to get back to fat club, as my jeans are getting tight again, but first I need to get back to the place in my head where I want to be thinner more than I want to put chocolate in my mouth!!! Easier said than done x

  4. Oh Barbara I totally get where you are coming from. I have been fairly good up until the weekend when we went away to celebrate our anniversary. Well lets just say the diet went on holiday too! Enjoy your evening.
    Hugs to you and Dave
    Linda xxx

  5. Now the funny thing is …. I don't do lots of sweets, chocolates, biscuits or cake! I adore cheese…. but I am allergic to it. Makes me scratch, and burst out in spots! Oh, and makes me fatt(er)!! Just think: melted cheese, with sliced tomato in a pitta, grilled until crisp! Yummy! (naughty Cj!)

  6. I'm a great believer in we make our own choices in life. Some choices are easier to make than others and some are dependant on other people. I am also finding that chocolate likes me better than fruit these days. Susan, perhaps once we get our heads in the right place we could support each other to lose some weight.

  7. Good evening Barbara!
    I agree with you entirely and I have made one big change in my life that took me away from the rat race and reduced my stress levels almost completely! I now need to try and change me more and lose more weight….so hard sometimes and with not working I must remember to be a bit more active! I can change that too!
    And hopefully the better weather and longer daylight should help!
    As for Jim's desk I spy other nice things on there if you ignore the cookies!
    Have a good evening when you eventually get home!
    Love and hugs xxx

  8. Being retired I can pretty much change and choose what I do? However there is one thing I just can't change no matter how hard I try – my inability to resist all things Clarity. As you say, my choice and I love it. Just received my ring locks so will be playing with them tomorrow. Don't stay at work too late. Hugs. X

  9. I used to be able to understand the difference between lettuce and chocolate and did truly prefer lettuce. Then life gets in the way and chocolate becomes a comfort. My own mother was taken from me by cancer. She was 36 and that still 40 years on continues to get in the way. I am really enjoying Groovi as a new challenge and thank you for your inspiration xxx

  10. I was in a place last year where my full time job had taken its toll and was making me ill. So I took control made some hard decisions about finance and pensions etc and braved a huge step out of it. I gave up a full time well paid job – resigned – worked my notice, gave them a bit extra at the end and then ended it just before Christmas. This was certainly the right decision as my 5 year old granddaughter just two days later suffered 3 hours of unexplained fits and was rushed to Addenbrooks and placed in a medical coma to let her little body recover. If I had still been working I would not have been in the right place to rush to her bedside and support my daughter. Since that awful day she has recovered and I have slowly got my life back and just a couple of weeks ago started a part time job with the steam railway here in Peterborough I am now more relaxed and my health is greatly improving as us my granddaughter – my job could not be further away from what I have done for most of my working life and is of course less money. But the important thing is I took control before the other one made me too ill. So take stock all – it's been hard to make this step but so far- well it's the best thing I have done for years!!

  11. Hahaha had to laugh! I've started back at my Slimming World group – but oh boy, it goes on a lot quicker than it ever comes off. Still, I am eating healthily again, so will just hope the benefits of it will come eventually.

    Had my battles over the years, but was very fortunate, and am still here to tell the tale. It does make you take stock of what is important and what is not though.

    It shines out of you Barbara, that you love what you do, and that is the crux of it. Once you stop enjoying it, then it will be time to take stock and have a look at those decisions again.

    More power to your elbow! xx

  12. Hi Barbara, Such a funny Blog today, and I can definitely empathise, but I also feel that 'we are only here once' and 'moderation in everything' are my 'buzz' words haha. I love everything that is bad for me, but I have a linedance class twice a week, and Monday to Friday incl I powerwalk on my treadmill for an hour each day which certainly helps me eat what I like. I find the summertime is great for healthy eating but the Winter months are so depressing to me that I do tend to overindulge a bit haha.
    Enjoy your evening.
    Lots of love from Patricia xx

  13. Would it be great if lettuce tasted of chocolate and chocolate tasted like lettuce would make some food choices easier but we have to reprogram brain healthy foods are yummy don't need chocolate etc . I agree we make are choices in all areas we need to listen more to the small voice inour heads not the loud one. Xx

  14. Hi Barb,
    What you say is so true. We all ( or nearly all) make our own choices. Dave and I made the choice to take early retirement and it was the best thing we did. We made the choice at Christmas ( or should I say Dave made the choice for me) to join the leisure centre gym and pool as we both needed to get fitter and lose weight. All was going well until I had that flipping fall which has well and truly scuppered me! In 51/2 weeks I get the brace off my leg and God willing I won't have to have reconstruction surgery , and I can get back to the swimming and gym-ing again. I would love to be a shadow of my former self when I see you again at Leyburn! Mind you it didn't help when Dave went into the bank on his birthday and they gave him a packet of Roses hazelnuts in caramel & as he doesn't eat chocolate I just had to eat them! Just watching the second of Maria's shows and the new plates are beautiful, they fell into my Clarity basket as well. Hope by now you are at home. Love and hugs Alison xxx

    1. Hi bloggy friends,
      Just finished watching Marias shows which were fab. The samples truly stunning. Dave took me up to Newcastle to have a look at some kitchen flooring which is exactly what we want. By the time I'd walked around John Lewis I was ready for home. It was the quickest trip to Newcastle I've ever had!!! Hope you are all well. Love and hugs Alison xxx

  15. OMG you tease! Never mind the cookies all I can see is a dwindling bank balance courtesy of more tempting new Groovi Plates. Love the 'wish list' post it note on Jim's computer. My wish list is slightly bigger! Don't work too late.

  16. We are indeed masters of our own choices in life…most of the time. Good that you have Dave to help you stear life's course and that he has a secret stash of cookies when the need arises! Great work on the 10,000 steps a day. Xx

  17. Lovely blog, Barbara! So glad I'm not alone in mistaking lettuce for chocolate. I have a lot of freelance wor at the moment so don't have time to craft and make myself feel better – just have to get on with it, and so end up eating more cakes and biscuits sitting at the computer. I gave up on the skinny jeans ages ago! Maybe when the weather turns warmer I'll get some walking done too. I live in hope! 🙂

  18. A very thought provoking blog today Barbara. There's such a lot in my life I would love to change, but unfortunately it's outside of the realms of possibility. But in the main, being an optimist as a rule, I find ways of compensating. Namely Clarity and Cadbury's! (yes Dave – other brands available hahaha!) Lettuce…what's lettuce?!!!! Hugs xxx

  19. Being strong willed about things I know I should do but don't do is not my strong suit, pardon the pun, which is probaby why I am where I am and you are where you are…lol. You are strong willed and focussed Barbara and you have come a long way in your life and I'm sure you have a lot further to go to. I only saw one of Maria's hours today but the plates are a wonderful addition and Maria was great. x

  20. i wonder if you wree referring to the biscuits or the dies? i also think it is a waste to bin the food so now i am piling the weight that i have just lost back on. how i wish i could just bin it and chocolate didn't speak to me… hugs xx

  21. I used to be a chocoholic and was forever at Slimming World or Weight Watchers tying to shift a few pounds. Now I am (in a perverse way) very lucky since having 4 years of chemo I have gone off chocolate and am managing to loose a few pounds a month which is great news. I always feel bad for you when you are working late but I will try and put that behind me. Hope you and Dave have a good evening when you get home.xx

  22. Such temptation Barbara but once it is gone you can get back on track, at least the walking will help to minimise the damage. Lovely day spent today with my two granddaughters looking at the butterflies at Wisley glasshouse. This has become something of an annual visit. No crafting today but tomorrow we need to make a birthday card for their Daddy. xx

  23. I'm now lucky enough to be in a place where I can do as I please (except I do have to stop buying every Groovi plate !!), Elastic waists are the answer ! Your eating phase will pass it's because you are so so busy but that's success it's like a catch 22 I reckon ! As you say though you are lucky that you're working late because you want to and you know you can go in late if you want to too. Not that you will though ! Xx

  24. Me sad Barbara, as I really struggle to take control of/ influence my lot in life. Maybe if I'd been diagnosed with Asperger's as a child, maybe if I'd had someone to take me under their wing at any point, maybe, maybe, maybe… I don't regret the choices I was allowed to make in life, there haven't been that many big ones though, and most paths I wanted to take have been denied me for one reason or another. Most of the time Asperger's doesn't let me do choices, an exceptionally difficult problem I have my whole life. Asperger's and trying to handle being in the normal world with it both pre and post diagnosis, and CFS since mid twenties and mental health damage since childhood dictates so much. An Autistic brain is like a Mac v a PC, wired differently, most things not compatible between the two, and there's no available software or hardware to make them compatible.

    I try my best, I really do, but it's so little and so long. I'm just floundering barely able to keep my head above water, treading water madly, getting nowhere. Like a huge thick door that I can't find the key to, that I'm battering away at and it's not moving an inch. That's what it's like to be me in this world, in this life. I do a wee happy dance each day I manage to do the most tiniest of things other than my daily chores, a wee bit craft, a tiny wee bit of my home sorted, whether that's finding an over the door hook suitable for hanging up my dressing gown that has had to reside on the floor for the past 6 years. Or sourcing a universal handle to fit one of the kitchen windows so at last I'll be able to open it in the summer. Minute in the whole scheme of life, and not what I want to be doing with my life, I want, crave, the fun, the sharing, the love, the friends, the experiences, the achievements, the control, that most people have the ability of and just take for granted, don't give a second thought to, stuff that my Asperger's and life I was born into will deny me my whole life. That I'm supposed to accept I can never have to make my lot in life more bearable! Not doable when all you wanted in life was the ability to be like everyone else. All the rubbish about folk like me being included in this society, having the chance of a good and worthwhile life, is just that, total utter rubbish for most of us. Most of us never can, not in this society anyway. Whether it's noises, people, discrimination, communication issues, lack of willingness to even try to understand…. There's few people (including those employed to help folk like me) I have come across who are prepared to try to understand, compromise, make it a wee bit easier for me, love me for who I am. We're expected to conform, or face the consequences, that's the truth of it.

    I think for things a person does have the choice of in life, whether you're the luckiest person alive or the least luckiest, it's the easier option to just plod along on the same path ignoring any turn offs or new paths along the way. Some new paths take a lot of courage and, from what I can see, a lot folk just don't want to put the effort in to even try, but then moan about their life. I find that a hard one. Me, folk like me, have to do scary things every day pretty much, often very scary, just to get by in everyday life, for no or little reward or pleasure. I've been told for years I'm very brave, I'm one of life's fighters, I should be proud of myself for my achievements. For what, just to be where I am today! Coward, failure, useless, bad… is more like it. When I got my Asperger's diagnosis mid thirties, the professionals were totally amazed I had got as far as I did in life, as well as I did, and for as long as I did before my health gave up, they had no idea how I did it. All it got me was sick for the rest of my life and pretty much all doors slammed in my face.

    1. And society doesn't care, where was/is my help when I got ill through no fault of my own! That's the injustice, I fight with every ounce, yet end up existing this lonely, isolated, endless problem and fears, daily struggle just to keep going, get through another day.

      Sorry for going on, having a really bad in my head day today.

      I'm glad you're happy with your life in general Barbara.  For the other bits you do want to change, just keep chipping away at them.  You're walking 10,000 steps is amazing, you've cracked that one, it will become part of your normal day, like having a shower.  Food choices, just keep trying, you will win the battle at some point, honest.  If me with an eating disorder can manage to, then you can.  And you've got Dave to do it with you, easier if you're not trying on your own.  Sugar is toxic to our bodies, did you know that.  We all know how bad most fats are to our bodies.  Think of that when bad foods are calling you, picture what it could be doing inside you, like the stop smoking adverts do.

      But, you do need to sleep Barbara, and to have fun/chill time, all work is going to make you ill.  Please hear me, I don't want you ending up with CFS or another serious health problem.

      Hope you're home now, and relaxing.
      Love Brenda xx

      On a positive note, I read about two random acts of kindness today.  One an anonymous person paid for lots of snacks in a vending machine in a cancer hospital in Manchester.  Leaving them all in the bottom tray, with a note saying to help themselves, it was all paid for, just wanted to try brighten someone's day, and if the recipients could please pay forward the kindness.  The second was in Canada, an airplane had to divert to another airport for bad weather.  The passengers were stuck there for a while with nothing to eat and their airline was refusing to do anything about it.  A pilot from a different airline bought them all pizza, they think with his own money.
      See, Random acts of kindness are spreading and doing good round the world.  Please everyone keep up our pledges to do 2 a day where possible.  And everyone else please join us.  They don't have to cost anything, they don't have to be big, just anything for anyone, that's going to brighten their day a wee bit.  And if possible as the recipients to pay the kindness forward.  Lets be part of growing this movement further, spreading kindness around the world.  remember one grain of white sand doesn't make a beautiful beach, but many can.  thank you

    2. Hi Brenda I've just heard tonight of a young lad who goes out every week with his mum taking food clothes and toiletries to people sleeping rough. They've been doing it for over a year now and have got to know their regulars quite well. Some just need someone to talk to and they take that time. The lad took his written driving test this week so mum started their round while he went for the test and they all asked where the lad was. As he walked up the road to join mum they all asked him how he got on and gave a cheer when they heard he had passed. It made me smile that this 17 year old lad was helping other people because he wanted to. Sending you a big hug tonight. Xxx

    3. Morning Brenda sorry you had a bad day but glad you have this wee place to put your feelings in to words I learn so much from your comments here's a wee cuddle to brighten your day not much but I hope it helps. Love Dot XX

    4. Thanks Susan. Aye, I started with the right mindset today, had a plan too, but all that went out the window once the postie had been! Lets see if I can salvage the rest of the day now!!! Hope you're ok. Milder here, hope it is for you up there too. Love this time of the year, with the lengthening daylight hours, the warmth in the sun, and the hope for the seasons about to come 😊 xx

  25. Well, it´s definitely NOT lettuce-season….rather cabbage and carrots ;O)
    But some chocolate and some cookies every now and then are surely in season as well, aren´t they?

    Greetings from Bremen,

  26. Hi Barbara
    I changed my life a couple of years ago because the stress of work was making me ill. Quality of life is so much better, we eat healthier because I've got time to cook rather than quick food and you do get used to having spending money do you appreciate new groovi things more when you get them! I like lettuce but I like chocolate more!! Cocoa is a vegetable you know so you could say it's one of your 5 a day 😊. Had to laugh at the wish list on Jims computer, does it start with holiday I wonder? Looks like lots of exciting goodies in store besides the biscuits. Take care
    Love Diane xxx

  27. I am just back in from a lovely evening with some crafty friends and tonight we were jewelry making. I shoed one of the ladies how to make ratings and I made a charm bracelet with wee charms that I linked to the Outlander books by Diana Gabaldon. As always we had a good laugh and a giggle setting the world to rights. Unfortunately there were crisps, dips and cakes that I had to partake in so the healthy eating isn't going well today, particularly as my daughter who is home from Edinburgh for a couple of days has just opened a packet of Percy Pigs that need sharing! Barbara, I am sure that you will soon manage to get back into the skinny denims with all your walking. We do need a wee bit extra insulation during the winter.

  28. I am just back in from a lovely evening with some crafty friends and tonight we were jewelry making. I shoed one of the ladies how to make ratings and I made a charm bracelet with wee charms that I linked to the Outlander books by Diana Gabaldon. As always we had a good laugh and a giggle setting the world to rights. Unfortunately there were crisps, dips and cakes that I had to partake in so the healthy eating isn't going well today, particularly as my daughter who is home from Edinburgh for a couple of days has just opened a packet of Percy Pigs that need sharing! Barbara, I am sure that you will soon manage to get back into the skinny denims with all your walking. We do need a wee bit extra insulation during the winter.

  29. Hi Barb, how does the saying go "we are all masters of our own destiny". I am sure a lot of people work late hours, not through choice, but due to employers or necessity. We all admire you for your tremendous drive, and are thankful for it. As for the mix up between food groups – I plead guilty on that score too. Hope the walking is going well. Take care. Bx

  30. Morning Barbara well just a wee while back I was thinking you were going to be taking life a wee bit easier then what do you do Mrs? you go and buy another company which I thought was just fantastic but knew it would come along with those wee b*ggers worka and hollick for a bit.
    Try and not over do it a wee bit chocolate now and again never hurts anyone well until your in a changing room doing that breathing in thing.
    Take care Love Dot..xx

  31. Hi, Barbara, if only lettuce tasted like cadbury's fruit and nut, I would be delighted to turn green from over consumption but alas, this is like a dream from "Charlie and the chocolate factory", even better if said chocolate had the same calories as lettuce, we could all be green, wearing skinny jeans.


    P.S I will toast you when I have my next " fix"

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