Keeping it in the Day

Keeping it in the Day

Hi there

Thanks for popping in. Just thought I’d surface for an hour, have a little chat. You keep me company. It’s all very nice having single rooms, but it does get lonely.
Got a marvellous view from this respiratory wing too..let me see if I can add a photo . Blogging on your phone is always a challenge !

It’s a waiting game now. Empyema is pretty serious, so I just have to trust the process. The drain is still in my back, which makes the nights long. Maybe today the doctors will make a decision as to the next step.
That’s it, isn’t it? Just got to keep it in the day. No point in worrying about what hasn’t happened yet.
Quote for Today: Keep it in Today.

I met a beautiful young nurse from Trinidad yesterday. She had a lovely butterfly tattoo on her arm, and of course I admired it. It was in memory of her Grandad. Well, that set me off weeping. Then I saw she was in pain too, and fighting back the tears. So we talked. We connected. We cried. We opened up to each other. My pain was Dad and fear of surgery. Her pain was missing her family and loneliness. She’s only been here a fortnight. Knows nobody. The English are clearly bringing nursing staff in from all over the world to make up the staff shortfall, and she took the career chance of a lifetime to come over here. But the thing she wasn’t expecting is the isolation and – wait for it – the racism. Now you see, that makes my blood boil. Here we have a highly qualified nurse who WE brought in all the way from Trinidad, and ignorant white bigots won’t let her do her job. She is deeply shocked and sad. WHAT A SHITSHOW. Appalling behaviour. So I did the only right thing I could think to do. I suggested we swap numbers, which she was so happy about. And whilst she was putting my name in her phone, she said laughing, “you are officially my first English friend” To which I responded, “and you are officially my first Trinidadian friend!”

We’ve been texting back and forth. I suggested we do that, so that then, when she needs a friend, I’m on her radar.

I have been that girl alone abroad. In Spain and in Germany. It sucks. I made it and so will she.

If we human beings can’t be there for each other , then tell me. What is the point of anything?

love always Barb x x x

105 thoughts on “Keeping it in the Day

  1. barbara sweetheart. I’ve been clicking on your blog and wondering how things are going. Didn’t realise you had empyema. Not nice.
    Good that you are managing to post though.
    Understandable you are in tears, not just about your health but about the way that nurse is being treated. Crying now myself as I am writing. Definitely a need to live in the moment.
    Got myself all of a flap doodle as I can’t find the instructions for my new soup maker. Not exactly rocket science to use it and I found instructions in a Google anyway (ha ha waffle waffle) Then reminded myself I could be stuck under an earthquake damaged building in Turkey, or like you and the frustrations of wanting to get better and home with loved ones. Anyway virtual hugs and hugs. Off to light a candle for you now. I am a great believer in lighting candles, not sure why!!

    1. so kind of you to think of others when you’ve suffered such a loss and your illness. what a selfless thing to do. makes me proud to be part of your crafting world. take care hope you feel better soon and hugs to you 🤗🤗 xx

    2. hi Barb, I had no idea you were so poorly. My heart goes out to you especially with all this being so close to you losing your dad. It’s so typical that you’re thinking of others. I’m with you on this racism bull£_&t. She is, like you said, highly qualified and wanting to work. It’s not like she’s here sponging off our welfare state. I really don’t understand it. Tell her how we all feel. I too have moved around a bit in my lifetime (67 yes young🤣)but nowhere near as far as she has, and I was miserable especially the first time. She has a multitude of friends in all of us if she wants. Tell her to go on your Facebook page and we will friend request her. That would be a start. The Clarity family are the friendliest kindest people out there. I’ll pray for you Barb along with your new friend. Take it easy and rest up lovely lady. I look forward to seeing you on TV when your well enough. ❤️❤️

      1. Yes agreed, if that dear nurse from Trinidad needs a lift the bus always has a welcoming seat,
        a caring word and positive driver .
        Take care Barbara, travel gently 😘

  2. Isn’t it sad that some people can’t accept that although we are different we are the same! It was so nice of you Barbara to befriend her and I’m sure she’ll always appreciate your friendship . Your so kind and loving continue to get well. Everybody misses you lots . Love and hugs xx

  3. Take care and the time which is needed to recover Barbara. I hope they remove your drain soon so you can get to sleep better.

    It’s very sad to hear about the racism in this day and age as a retired nurse I know how difficult it can be moving to a new hospital let alone a new country and away from home . Please send my best wishes to your young nurse , she’ll soon make new friends .

  4. Well your new found friend couldn’t have found anyone nicer to have as her first English friend. I still cannot believe people’s attitudes. I lived abroad in the Far East and in the Middle East for 16 years and we were always made welcome by the locals. dare I say sometimes friendlier than our fellow expats! I am sorry you are still feeling rubbish. The nights are always the worst. I hope things start easing and you are more comfortable very soon. Thinking of you and sending lots of love and hugs. xx

  5. Good to hear from you as always and the view is lovely, hopefully it won’t be too long until you can be back in your lovely home and enjoying the view of your own garden, and having kitty cuddles too. Your words about your fantastic nurse (what is her name?) have brought tears to my eyes, I know you will tell her that not everyone in this country is a bigot, and that all your crafty followers are grateful for all her efforts for all her patients. Keep your spirits up, love and hugs as always

  6. Thinking of you Barb and praying for a speedy recovery. You could tell that lovely nurse that she has now acquired a whole raft of English friends! No racist bigots here. Lots of love ❤️

  7. Morning Barb, really sorry to hear what you are going through and hope the doctors have some good news for you soon. Lovely view from your window, blue skies and trees – always good to see. Hopefully, the larger Clarity community can keep you company online, if not physically. So sad that your lovely nurse has suffered so much in her short time here, but so typical of your unswerving generosity that you’ve given her hope that not all of us are that bad and there are friends for her here away from home.
    Your quote for today is so right. I have learnt the hard way over the years that worrying about what’s to come doesn’t help, face what today has – tomorrow will be there when you get to it!
    Take care, Barb, sending lots of warm vibes and healing hugs.

  8. Bless you Barbara, even though you are unwell you still think of others 😀
    I hope you continue to improve and feel better soon.
    Much love
    Doreen 😀

  9. Barbara, thanks for your blog today and the view from your room looks lovely. Just wish you were well enough to go home. Such a shame about your young Trinidadian nurse and so glad she has found a friend in you, hope things improve for her. We are all the same regardless of colour. Hugs to you as always xx

  10. Oh Barbara. That makes me so sad 😔. There’s you really poorly in your bed, thinking of this young lady and how sad she is. I’m sending love and hugs to you both. Thank you young Trinidad angel nurse for look after our Barbara and Barbara for looking after her. Love to you both Denise 🙂 x

  11. So nice to see you here. So sad to hear about your new friend. I feel ashamed of this country at times, well a few of the people. So proud of you.
    We have to trust in the Drs and I know how scary that can be. Take care, be kind to yourself and keep smiling. Love and healing wishes xx

  12. So good to hear from you.
    I think you must be improving a little as your rightful fighting spirit for injustice is showing! Thank you for being so caring, despite your own problems. That nurse will always remember you .
    Please don’t be lonely there are hundreds of us who would like to speak ,text or email you , if it helps at all. You already have my number at the bottom of your handbag from the August clarity retreat. I gave it to you about the house in Portugal, please use it.
    In the meantime take care and accept all the good wishes we are sending to you and the whole clarity family. Much love x

  13. Enjoy reading your blog Barbara as usual, and I am pleased that you have found a new friend in your nurse. Shame others are not like you. Must be very hard for her. Do hope you can have the back drain removed soon and get a better nights sleep.
    Take care x

  14. So very sad that good ,honest hardworking people are still subjected to this. Call me controversial but when my husband was in hospital recently we found that the foreign nationals (hope I’ve not upset anyone by this terminology) were so hardworking ,kind and considerate and couldn’t do enough for him.
    Hang on in there Barb you can beat this empeyma !

  15. You are one lovely lady. Even when you are poorly you give a loving caring hand to others. We need more people like you in the world. If we all took time to spare a moment for others image what a wonderful world it would be. Hope they remove your drain soon to make you more comfy. Sending love and hugs xx

  16. My dearest Barbara, you inspire and care for others, even when things are so difficult for you. I wish you the speediest recovery lovely lady.

    Try to keep positive, and we all look forward to seeing you again soon hopefully, once you are full recovered, but not before 😉 x

  17. Lovely view . So sorry that you are having to go through all this. And how your poor nurse is being made to feel is awful. She is doing us a great service moving away from everything she knows. I am sure you will let her know not everyone will treat her right in that way which I hope will reassure her. I would hope the hospital have ways to support her too it is just not right. Take care xxxxx

  18. so lovely to hear from you with this blog 😊 keep looking to see how you are doing . you are being looked after well and day by day it will all improve. so sad to hear about your new found friend 😢 please try and reassure her we are not all like this, as I hope she will find out please give her my best wishes, these racist folk are ignorant and awful … keep smiling Barbara and do as the doctors order, and you will be back home before you know it sending you love ,hugs, kisses xx

  19. I too am seething about the racism your lovely nurse is having to put up with – what’s wrong with people for heavens sake. I hope it’s not too long before she starts to make friends and settle. The view from your room looks lovely and I hope you get that uncomfortable drain out soon. Take care lovely lady xx

    1. Hope you are starting to feel better, I too have been on Google and I am sorry you have had such a rubbish time, hopefully things will be looking up soon. I am very sad that you are in hospital but I am sure that the lovely nurse is glad that she had the good fortune to meet you. I think you have a stamp that says something like ‘you could be the light in someone’s life’ and I think you have just been that light for her. I hope that when you are better she will join the SHAC. I am sure it will give her much pleasure. Thinking of you and sending you much love, take care and update us when you can x

  20. Dear Barbra, many years ago I spent 3 and a half months in an isolation ward at St Mary’s Paddington. it was lonely at times and the kindness of the staff kept me hopeful. I never thought I would be able to get back to my healthy self. I had to walk with a stick and I hadn’t even hit 40! you helped me get the Night before Christmas stamp set at Ally Pally before all the crowds came in…just you and I. ( it was some 13 years ago!) I am fully recovered and I know you will get there. Just be kind to yourself and rest. it’ll take a while, so don’t rush. And keep on being your kind, true, honest self . Thinking of you.
    Ashley x

  21. You poor darling – that’s a really nasty condition. Stepping up lots of prayer and positivity for you.
    How did we all know that you would be a blessing and a loveing encouragement to others where you are right now? The lovely Trinidadian lass will be blessing the day that she met you.
    I hope that today will be a little more comfortable for you in some way. There are so very many of us SHACers and others as well as all those friends and loving family who are rooting for you. Love and lots of blessing, Rosemary T xx

  22. That poor girl! I feel embarrassed to be British sometimes! She has been so brave to leave her homeland and she doesn’t even get a welcome. Just appalling…..but thank you for being her first English friend. I moved to Wales for a while (from The Midlands!!!) and I was SO homesick. Having the courage to up and move overseas is amazing and I am full of admiration. Get her to join Clarity Worldwide and we will ALL be her friends. I hope you soon have some good news about your health Barbara. I reckon you have been running on an empty tank for far too long!

    1. Liz, exactly what I was going to suggest. She will be overwhelmed with friendship is she joins Clarity worldwide. X

  23. That is so you Barbara. You are lying in a hospital bed suffering your physical pain, struggling to sleep and desperately missing your dad, yet you are feeling and easing the pain of a lonely young lady who has come to this country expecting to be welcomed and instead, encountered those who I consider a disgrace to humanity. I do hope your pain soon lessens and your nights become shorter. Dave x

  24. Oh Barbara, those endless nights – when you clock watch, wishing those glints of light to break through the darkness, announcing the morning!
    Do you have a pillow spray? They are my saviour before I go to bed, and if I wake up during the night – a light spray works a treat! (This Works, deep sleep pillow spray, on offer on Amazon)< fabulous!
    I'm so glad you reached out to that nurse – I bet she slept better last night, knowing she now has you as a friend. Wait till she finds out how many friends are wishing you love and a speedy recovery right now! I can only reiterate what everyone else is saying – we miss you, Barbara. Sending hugs and positive vibes, always xxx ❤️

  25. Hi Barbara,
    you must have read my mind – I was wondering if you had a good view from your room! I have to say that, having looked up your condition I am wincing in sympathy. I have had times when it hurt to breathe (thanks to fibromyalgia & rheumatoid arthritis) & there is little I’ve found harder to cope with. We never normally think about breathing but we should appreciate our fortune in being able to!

    I am so glad you have your new Trinidadian friend. Thank heavens there are still nurses willing to come here to take care of us. That they are met with racism makes me weep. How dare people be so evil. Please send her my best wishes.
    Enjoy the sunshine brighten your room. hugs, Alison xx

  26. What a lovely view from your window. Hope you get that chest drain out soon so that you can get a good night’s sleep. So sorry that your nurse has to put up with racial abuse and it also makes my blood boil knowing it goes on in my country. She is very lucky to have you as her first English friend but you can tell her that she now has many friends in the Shac family English,Welsh,Scottish,Irish,and all the other nationalities who come to the shac. Hugs to you bothxx.

  27. Hi Barbara ,You are a loving inspiration to us allSending every possible good wish for your speedy recovery and more friends to the Trinidadian nurse
    Love and hugs

  28. Keep it in today. Absolutely. My thoughts entirely.

    So good to hear from you but so sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with empyema. The treatment journey is clearly uncomfortable (that is most likely an huge understatement) and likely to be longer than you’d anticipated when first admitted to hospital. The point is it is a journey, a circular one with home its destination. You will be there soon.

    Grief is a strange one. I remember after my Mum died, for no apparent reason, she would just pop into my thoughts and I would cry at the loss. Then, seamlessly, she would still just pop into my thoughts but I would remember her laughing like a drain so, instead of tears a huge smile would cross my face. I still miss her 14 years later.

    Like you I get incensed at the mind set of some people (it is probably mainly white folk in this country but bigotry comes from all shades of colour) that think it’s OK to voice or act in any way they choose to ridicule or bully someone because they neither look like themselves nor follow their own lifestyle preferences despite the fact that their target is possibly doing a job that benefits society including the bigot themselves. Rant over.

    Thank you for being the kind and thoughtful person you are. I certainly appreciate it and so does you new Trinidadian friend.

    Thinking of you daily.
    Lynn xx

  29. Hi Barb – empyema is a bit of a nightmare, isn’t it! That nurse’s experience is sadly not unique – most racism is encountered from patients 😢 It’s so awful when they’ve uprooted from home to come and work here and are met with hostility.
    Hoping you manage to enjoy the view a little. You just need to focus on yourself and your recovery now – your fabulous team at Clarity are keeping the show on the road!

  30. Dear Barb – isn’t that so typical of you………thinking of others even though you are so poorly. Can you get her to join Clarity Worldwide so we can all give her a big welcome and thank her for all she is doing to make you better. We are all willing you to make a speedy recovery……..lots of gentle hugs

  31. Sorry to hear you are still in a lot of discomfort Barb. Thinking about you often like the rest of the Clarity family and wishing you a speedy recovery. Your body does need sleep and rest to recover. Nap whenever you are able. As you said, there is no point worrying about the next step. It will be what it will be and if you need surgery, then you will be asleep and not aware of what is happening. Sad times we still live in when good, honest people come to help our needy. Your phone contacts are ever expanding (lol). it’s a good job you’re not on Michael McIntyres TV programme, where he sends a text to all contacts in a celebrity’s phone. It would take the system a very long time to get through your list. Bless you for caring so much about others. It must be something a lot of ’59er’s were born with. I’d suggest watching Tina demonstrating but to be honest when I’m unwell I don’t have any patience for anything. With lots of love. x

  32. Hello Barbara,
    What a lovely view you have, it is always uplifting to see the sky and the trees. I am so sorry to hear of your on going discomfort and pain, and send you lots of positive gentle hugs.
    I am deeply saddened to hear how people are treating your lovely new nurse/friend. If only there were more kind, understanding folk like you around.
    Take care.
    Much love

  33. Hi Barbara
    Why do people treat fellow human beings like that it stinks. Having been on the end of hate mail and being attacked because of our lifestyle I can understand how your new friend feels. Glad you have have taken her under your wing, she will appreciate this in years to come. As the saying goes you can forget what someone says but you never forget how someone made you feel. This will wrap her up in a warm blanket on those days when ignorant people say rubbish.
    Hope you begin to feel better soon
    Love Ruth and Jackie xx

  34. Oh Barbara I’m so sorry to hear that you have empyema – I’d never heard of it but it sounds painful. Sending healing hugs and wishing you a speedy recovery!

    Now see, I’m not surprised at all that you connected with the young Trinidadian nurse, Just like you to still be thinking of others whilst poorly- bless you.

    Take care dear Barbara.

  35. You never cease to amaze me! You must be in so much discomfort but can still reach out to others who are hurting. Bless you. Sending love to you and your new friend, you will make each other’s current life a little easier. Hope you feel more comfortable soon. Love the view! Xx

  36. Dear Barb, typical you, showing how decent human beings behave. It’s shocking but she’s got a very special friend in you and will never feel alone again. And all because of a butterfly! It is lonely being in a hospital room on your own, counting anything that can be counted! Imagining shapes etc..Anyway we sincerely hope that the meds are kicking this condition out of your lungs asap. It will get better, keep calm ,easier said than done. Sending big healing hugs. We are off tomorrow to Lyme Regis to see family who live in Charmouth. Our grandkids are now 11 and 13 and we’ve not seen them since 2019 so am a bit excited! Staying in a cabin so hope it’s warm, thick woolly jumpers are the order of the day. X

  37. Bless you Barb I’m not surprised you’ve been in tears. You have had so much to cope with just lately. You’re upset and poorly and still you think of others. That nurse has certainly found herself a gem of a friend in you. Absolutely no need for any form of racism and those people should realise how lucky we are to have such caring people who want to look after others even when it means leaving their own loved ones. Yes it makes my blood boil too. Get her to join in the Shac – even if she’s not into crafting we can all say hello and befriend her just as you have.
    Take care lovely and I really hope you’re feeling better very soon.
    Lots of love to you and that wonderful nurse xxx

  38. I hope the doc gives you some info today. one thing I cannot stand is racism. I have lost count of the number of people I have challenged on social media about it, continue to post rot. I block them. I have had similar experiences because of disability.
    We have been thinking of you and praying for you very often. xxx

  39. If only you could give her all our phone numbers Barbara, she would have loads of friends and perhaps we could get her crafting the clarity way. Please tell her, she is a blessing to this country. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

  40. I have been over here for 37 years married my story is like this my German auntie followed a English soldier back to Britain so I ended up in her footsteps but what I am trying to say is so I been coming over from baby age to visit my auntie met my husband when I was just coming up for 19 years old I married him in the meantime I never made friends so I am on my own my marriage is not going well anymore he’s like a stranger but until I have the means to get out I am stuck going back to Germany is no option either I have nobody over there anymore and I definitely wouldn’t fit in any more so I just live my lonely life to till I can change it we had a house fire this month 5 years ago and it didn’t help to be underinsured he is dragging to get on with the house because he knows I would move in straight away and he doesn’t want that as he won’t let me go easy in his eyes our marriage is fine I better stop now
    Barbara keep going one day at the time I had double pneumonia and had that blasted drain in but I got out so will you you will be weak for a long time but day by day you will get better if you fight much love sending your way from me x

  41. Hi Barb
    It is good to hear your voice. We are all here for you and you are so often in my thoughts, and I am sure of other Shacers too. Please ask your lovely nurse to read these comments so she can see that there are more good people in this country than the bigots.
    For the first time in all the years I’ve attended football matches at Southampton there was an idiot making “funny” racist comments to a young Steward so we reported him to the chief steward and he was escorted to the police. We all need to stand up and call out abusive comments whenever and wherever we can.
    Anyway, Tina’s show was great this morning so at least you know Clarity is in good hands.
    Sending you and your medical team lots of love
    Zara xx

  42. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, seems one thing after another for you. I dearly hope you are beginning on your bus ride back to health. xxx
    I am still amazed how absolutely rotten people can be to others, although I really shouldn’t be after the things you read. This young nurse was meant to meet you. The beginning of a beautiful friendship and support for both of you.
    Bless both of you.

  43. I am sorry your health problems are taking time to resolve. I am sure the Dr’s will take that drain out as soon as it is safe to do so. Thank you for reaching out to your nurse and giving her hope that there are friends out there. Homesickness is horrible but I hope things will get better for her as she settles in. I hope you feel better soon. Take care and look after yourself xx

  44. What a role model you are !!!! Just think if everyone was as generous a person as you what a better World it would be. My heart goes out to you with the things you’re dealing with and I wish you speedy recovery so that you can go home. Having said that you’re in the best place at the moment . I was in for a fair while some time ago and I remember going home and feeling quite vulnerable away from the ‘safe’ place I had for used to.
    It is UNBELIEVABLE to think of that brave young nurse experiencing racism, but the okdervyou get the more you realise there will always be bigots in this World.
    It must have been soooo good to meet you and find a friend. I don’t often write on the blog but had to take the opportunity to wish you well.
    I look forward to seeing you back on the telly !!
    ( Millie ..came on a couple of your early retreats and made you a hand drawn card) X😘

  45. Hi Barbara, just got in from volunteer job to cook lunch for the ‘old’ folk in our area – it’s ‘old’ folk cooking for ‘old’ folk, some of us (not me I’m youngest at 63) are old than those sitting down. Sausage casserole today, mash, carrots, green beans and peas followed by lemon sponge and custard. I’d bring you a portion if I was nearer ! Although I doubt you could eat it all at the moment.

    Your blog was an emotional one today and sad for the girl you’ve made friends with but at least she now has a friend. I hope the racist ones never need her help but, if they did, I bet she’d be give it without a thought.

    Just watching the news from Turkey and how devastating it is, we can never understand the like and really hope we don’t have to. Just seen the 75 fire fingers and search dogs from UK who have arrived to help – where do they start?

    Just keep getting well, even while ill you’re still helping people – love and hugs xx

  46. Oh Barbara, while I’m glad to see you on this blog I’m so sorry you have it so nasty (looked up empyema as I’ve not heard of it before). I’m also happy when you don’t blog too as I hope you are resting and beginning to recover. I think you are remarkable in that you reached out to your lovely nurse and found some of her pain. It can be so easy to become self absorbed when you are sick and in pain. It seems like you’ve helped each other.
    It’s dreadful to think of your lovely nurse facing racism here, after all this time. Sadly there are people who pick on those they sense are vulnerable, like your nurse so far from home. They really are a disgrace to the country they like to call home.
    I had a lovely holiday watching birds in Trinidad (in a small group), it’s a beautiful island and the people we met were lovely. Sadly like other places, beauty doesn’t always afford the people living there opportunities for a good standard of living.
    I’m glad you’ve been able to show that we’re not all bad here and goodness will overcome, even when it takes longer than it should.
    Wishing you and your lovely nurse better times to

  47. That was meant to be, for you to connect with that nurse who needed a friend. It amazes me when people deny systemic racism. I wish we could all just accept each other as we are.
    Keep recovering. Nights are hard and as a retired nurse (I worked most of my very rewarding career in oncology), that was some of the best times to connect with patients, when they needed you to listen, to be there with them when they were feeling vulnerable. I am glad that nurse was there for you too.

  48. Hi Barbara My husband had pneumonia and Empyema in March and like you had to have a tube in his back to get rid of all the nasty stuff.
    When allowed out of hospital he was put on antibiotics for six weeks. He was very tired when he came home but gradually he picked up and now is back to normal.
    So keep thinking positive. Soon you will be home and gain your strength back.
    Hope you are getting plenty of visitors (if allowed) and that the family are looking after your Mum in your absents. Get well soon xx

  49. Sending you all the best . Just a thought 😱 how about people sending her a welcome card ? . It’s what I remember as a child when we went to Eastbourne ladies college. Maybe that way she may make some friends and seeing our beautiful country. X

  50. Thank you Barbara for finding the strength to write your blog. I truly admire you- your kindness and thoughtfulness. I was touched but also saddened when you shared about your new friend. I have no patience for people who are disrespectful or unkind to others. We all matter, and deserve love and respect! You are in my daily prayers for better days ahead and recovery.
    I continually learn from you- not only all amazing creative talents you share, also the kindness, thoughtfulness words and actions. Your inspiring words/quotes whether you share in the SHAC, on your YouTube’s and with your writing.
    I am going back and rewatching your YouTube’s- truly the best!
    Also, appreciate your laughter. Hugs.

  51. Please please tell your new friend that we would love to welcome her into our group. Could she join Clarity Worldwide so she can be connected with us? It’s amazing that you were there for her and her for you. I hope you are both happy today (or as happy as you can be in your predicament). I’ve just got home from ENGG and although I was very disgruntled (couldn’t find a piece I worked on all day yesterday and was going to finish today) I’ve had a lovely day amongst friends with much fun and laughter. I hope you have a better night tonight, you must be exhausted but in your pain you can still reach out for others. God bless you Barbara and God bless your lovely friend xx

  52. Although we have never met I am so lucky to have you as a friend. You have the heart of an Angel. So caring, so much empathy for others. So you.

    I’ve just googled your condition it sounds terrible.

    I finished the book Thrown by Sara Cox which I messaged you about it’s really good.

    Also finished a book called Riviera Retreat which was just beautiful just what you need whilst in your little room. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

    Take care ❤️

  53. Lovely to hear from you Barbara. I had to look up epysema as I had never heard of it. Poor you, it sounds horrible! Your blog made me so sad and also furious. Racism is such an abhorrent thing. Please tell your lovely Trinidadian friend I am ashamed of some of my fellow brits that she should be treated so badly. Thank you for making the effort to befriend her and make her feel not so alone. I agree with Mandy Dunkerly and would like to send her a welcome card. Is there anyway that this could be made possible?

  54. Barbara,I have just been speaking to my friend Janet in London who is also Trinidadian. When I told her about your lovely nurse she said please give her her number, as even though she is older and is in London, she would love to chat with her and even introduce her to other Trinidadian people she knows, and she said she would love to hear from her, x

  55. Oh Barbara, how selfless you are, when yo are so poorly but can still reach out to others. I wish more people were like you.

    I do hope you will start improving soon and get rid of that nasty drain and stop feeling like a pincushion!

    Please take care

  56. Show your lovely nurse all the wonderful messages on here to prove to her that there are loads of people who appreciate what she is doing and tell her to ignore the racist abuse.
    Hope you start feeling better soon.
    Love and hugs

  57. Great that you have felt up to blogging today. A room with a view how lovely. I was in hospital one year just before Christmas and all I could see was roof tops. One roof had lights and Santa an reindeer. When I mentioned this to a nurse she told me they do it every year as the children’s ward was the floor above mine. What a lovely thing to do.
    Take care and I hope you get the tubes out soon xx

  58. Hope it’s good news on the drain. Your room looks nice, but I understand the loneliness can easily take hold in a single room.
    Really like the idea of the welcome cards for your new Trinidadian friend. Really don’t understand racism.
    We should be living in a more understanding world by now.
    Think some people need to walk a mile or more in another man’s shoe.

  59. Goodness Barbara, I thought pneumonia was bad enough, this will take quite a time to recover from and clearly no rushing around for a bit.
    I’m so sorry to hear about your delightful nurse’s experience; how can people be so utterly despicable- we are in desperate need of folk like her and we recruited her for her skills and compassion as we are so short of both in UK at present. Home sickness is bad enough without racism. Without all those who have come over to help us out over decades we would be in a much worse state. Like you, my family is blessed with members from a different background and all the better for it. So glad you have good people caring for you whatever their background or belief. Every good wish

  60. Barbara
    Thank you for caring for her! She is lucky. I know what’s going to happen. You will come out of hospital with a bus full! The SHAC SHack Charabanc (xxxxxbarbara and nurses club) tried my hardest to use all the letters but I’m sure someone will do it

  61. Hi Barbara Your blog has touched me so much.
    Firstly I’m so very sorry your unwell. I have been out of touch due to a big life style change and I miss crafting so much but I’ll be back soon I hope time management and all that.
    I am so appalled this young nurse has been treated appalling but a better first English friend she will never find. Your love to others is endless and I have so much respect for you. Kindness is free and there to share. She needs to join the Shac Shac so we can all befriend her and welcome her to England properly.

    I hope you soon have your drain removed and a better nights sleep. Wishing you a speedy recovery Tracey xxx

  62. You are an incredible role model. If everyone could be like you we would live in a wonderful world.
    Thank you for your example and inspiration.
    Get well wishes in bucketfuls

  63. Gosh Barb, your new friend sounds amazing – I love her already.
    If I have to have anything horrible done to me, I mentally stroke Bendycat (the dentist is so used to me doing that now, he warns the dental nurses It’s normal for me!) so think of Erik and Ragnor and ‘stroke’ them to help you through the nights.
    Maggie (Bendy Yorkite)

  64. Thinking of you so much, Barbara. There are so many of us thinking of you. Take care and take advantage of the rest. I know it is not what you want but it will do you good. Clarity will take care of itself so don’t worry about that. Love to you and Dave. Xxx

    1. Oh Barbara, it’s so lovely that you have been able to blog today,the view from your window looks amazing. I’m sorry to hear you have empyema I have never heard of it but it sounds so painful.
      You are one special brave lady and it’s inspiring to hear you have made a friend with this wonderful nurse, how dare people be so unkind, it beggars belief.
      Take care Barbara x

  65. You are getting very adept at working that phone right handed, unless the drip is out of your left hand/ arm!😁. The view from your bedroom window reminds me of one of your postcards you sent me a while ago.its one of the linocut cards. Of course it didn’t have that glorious blue sky!
    I know you didn’t personally send today’s birthday card but Thankyou for the idea. It was lovely to receive, Thankyou.
    People can be so harsh on others. Let’s hope that nurse soon finds some good people she can hang out with while she settles in! You are such a kind and considerate person. Hoping for a speedy recovery for you. About to go and look up your illness as I’ve never heard of it! Rest well. Hugs x

  66. Hello Barbara. So good to read your blog today and see the view from your window. Trees and blue say-so much better than boring brick walls and and reflected windows. Hope tonight gives you a more comfortable sleep.
    I am sending this picture 🦋 for your new Trinidadian friend and for you. All living things, including us humans, come in all shapes, sizes and colours and everything is beautiful in it’s own way. I do hope that this nurse isn’t put off by the negative response she has experienced in her short time here, can see past this and focus on the positive vibes she receives from you and these posts. Take care Barbara-all in good time. ❤

  67. Hi Barbara,
    Thinking about you all the time and sending you love, hugs and positive thoughts.
    Bless you for your generous spirit and unfailing kindness.
    Jan x

  68. Well Barb, it makes my blood boil too. How can we still be behaving like this in the 21st century. I hope your Trinidadian nurse knows that there are more people that are grateful for her skills and selflessness then there are the bigots. They are just small people trying to look bigger. If you do see her again she gets a thumbs up and hug from me, she now has a whole load of new friends that she’ll probably never meet. Keep your spirits up patience is a virtue they tell me, but in all honesty I am NEVER a patient patient.

  69. So like you to befriend this nurse. I hope she uses the telephone number offered and that she is able to join the Clarity community. She will gain many friends and although I am sure she will still miss her family she will not feel so lonely.
    My mother was a racist bigot which made me so very angry. When she was ill she got excellent care from the nurses of all nations who thankfully ignored her bias and did their jobs superbly.
    I had to look up epysema as I had no idea what it was. Poor you, it has been just one thing after another but you are in the right place to start your healing.
    Tina and Paul are doing a great job on the tv. It is so nice to revisit earlier offerings from Clarity and judging by the way things are going new people will soon be posting their crafting efforts.
    Take care of yourself kind lady. 🍒🍒🍒

  70. Wow, I read your blog first thing this morning – well about 11am just as I was getting ready to go to our Bromsgrove Parchers meeting & there were just a couple of comments & now there are over 70. All along the same theme, astonishment at the way your new friend has found her first few weeks in the UK & the realisation of the details of Empyema. The Maya Angelou poem comes to mind when I think of what you did for her last night.
    Hope the doctors had some better news for you regarding your chest drain but if not it no good rushing the process which would undo all the work of the antibiotics over the last week.
    One day at a time – Keep it in today
    Take care of yourself & your new friends xx

  71. Oh Barbara, I’m so sorry you’re going through such a horrible time. Ashamed to say I had to Google empyema and it sounds horrendous. Thinking of you especially through the long nights and praying for a peaceful sleep, wisdom for your Dr to make the right decision and a return to health without the need for surgery. What a lovely lady you are, comforting your new friend and how right you are in everything you say. We all miss and love you xxx

  72. Hi Barbara
    Well you make a good friend to your nurse people have no feeling to day ,she trying too do a good job and got this unhappiness following he I have had a lot of time in hospital and to me it does not matter were they came from.
    They are taking care of me but have seen people be quite sharp with them .
    Take care Barbara saying a prayer for you love and hope you soon feel much better ,you have such a great family all take care and God Bless you .
    All my love and lots of hugs ❤❤🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

  73. Wishing you a well Barbara! You are such a wonderful lady and the lovely nurse couldn’t have chosen any better. Take care 💖

  74. Still praying for you knowing you will get through this. You are a very special person such an open and caring heart. Stay strong. And I am praying for your family, especially your mum too xxx

  75. Gee whizz! How can people be so cruel! Just imagine the courage that lovely nurse had, coming to a strange country where she knew nobody. We reap what we sow, and , Barbara,your rewards for befriending her will warm your big, generous heart and she will feel the love. Thanks for blogging, it’s good to hear of your progress.. hope it’s a better day tomorrow. Hugs and healing thoughts.xx

  76. Thank you Barbara for taking time to keep crafty friends updated, as your in so many peoples thoughts. Your certainly going through it. I too had to google ‘empyema’ how awful for you. Do hope drain can be removed soon for you. It must be very uncomfortable. How lucky is your new nurse friend to have you befriend her. How courageous for her to come here to work when nhs is so desperate for staff. Do hope she stays and is not driven to go ‘home’ by the thoughtless cruel people about. Wishing you well xx

  77. Dear Barbara so sorry to hear you’re in so much pain and discomfort & having more ailments added to what you’re already dealing with. I empathise completely. I will be making extra prayers for your speedy recovery and to being free of pain. 🤲🏼🙏🏼 What a beautiful view. Hopefully you will be able to see all the views from your own home soon while enjoying furry cuddles. 🐈🐈Having grown up my whole life having first hand experience of racism, and then sadly for being ill/disabled, my heart goes out to this lovely Trinidadian nurse. What’s her name ? Please give her my love and let her know that although she will probably face raicism many times, there will many wonderful people who counteract this and make her feel loved and accepted as part of one big human family, who understand we are the same and equal regardless of any visual or physical differences we may have 🥰💞 Reading through all the wonderful comments made my heart expand, and if she can read them too, then she will know we are all her friends too. She couldn’t have made a better first friend than you. 💖 I hope you get some rest tonight, even if sleeps alludes us both again. Much love and gentle hugs, Nahid xXx 🦋💕

  78. Hi Barbara, so many responses to your blog today. Even in distress you are still such a caring person. Hoping you get good news today and if not, there is always tomorrow. Keep smiling, sending hugs to you and your new friend. 🤗

  79. What a lovely thing to do for each other. I do hope the doctors give you some good news today and the nurse makes a new friend or two on the staff soon. All the best.

  80. Hello Barb, I am sorry to hear that you are still poorly, at least you do have a room with a view. I am sending hugs and positive thoughts that you will keeping improving. You have such a wonderful and giving nature and empathy for others. Such a kind thing to make friends with someone that is struggling. I am sure your new nurse friend appreciates your support and friendship. It is horrible that society is so blinkered in the face of adversity that so many people face. Send her hugs from all of us. Keep listening to the Doctors and Dave and get better soon. Take care everyone. Bx

  81. It is horrible feeling lonely, and really bad for you health, so you are being a wonderful new friend, maybe you can introduce her to the wonderful family of Clarity, I for one would make her welcome. Why do we still have people with these views? As my hubby says, “what would these bigots do if they fell ill in Trinidad?”
    Now I’m born and bred white English but I do remember (a generation ago) feeling v lonely as I was living in a hostel in England over Easter and I couldn’t find anyone to talk to, most of the other residents that weekend where not from this country and didn’t speak English. I felt so isolated, but they moved on and it passed, but I know a friendly face is worth a pot of gold.

  82. Hi Barb, I’m really sorry that you’re still in hospital but glad that you’re receiving such good care.
    Your story regarding the nurse so recently arrived from Trinidad brought back memories of my uncle, meeting falling head over heels in love with, and marrying a gorgeous nurse from Jamaica. Their wedding was such fun, and the reception, wow, what can I tell you? Her brothers and sisters could sing, and they did, the atmosphere was warm and friendly, and the food divine. My aunt is only five years older than me, and we became friends, and their children and mine alternated at birth, so very close in age. And tidy, too – one of each!
    That was 1971, not long after Enoch Powell, and the repercussions of *that* speech still rumbling. My aunt was a theatre Sister, responsible for so much during operations, until rheumatoid arthritis scuppered her career, while still young.
    Although I haven’t been able to see her for years, too much distance for a visit, unfortunately, we’re still in touch, now swapping stories about our grandchildren.
    It hurts us both, so much, to know that Powell’s trash-talk had influence then, and that it’s all happening again.
    I hope that your new friend can rise above the negative things going on in her new life, without losing any of her essence. As time goes on, she’s bound to meet other people like you, and see that the kind, the caring and the loving people are in the majority here.
    I hope that’s true…
    Keep on with your recovery, dear Barbara, we’re all in your corner.
    Lots of love to you, Dave, the fluffies and your family. xx

  83. What a lovely warm human being you are, Barb! I love how you are lying there so poorly in bed but you have immediately jumped in to help someone else you see suffering. What a shame for your new friend that she has had such a bad introduction to this country! She couldn’t have made a nicer first friend though and I’m sure you will make her feel more welcome and that it’s worth staying here.
    Your story reminds me of when I was teaching. I had an Asian boy in my class who was knocked down by a car. I got all the children to make him a card and write messages for him and after work I took them to the hospital. When I arrived on the ward his mother was sitting alone by his bed while all the other mothers were huddled in the opposite corner. I went over and spoke to her. She was so upset, they’d been there for nearly a week and was obviously very upset and worried. My immediate instinct was to give her a big hug. You could just about hear the collective sharp intake of breath from the opposite corner! And the looks they gave me! Poor woman was there with nobody to support her and they were completely ignoring her. She was so grateful for my small gesture. It’s horrible to think how isolated so many immigrants must feel when they have to endure that treatment.
    I’m glad you’ve got a cause to fight for now, it’ll help you get better.


  84. sad to hear about your ailment Barbara. empyema is quite serious and I bet all the drains make resting quite difficult.
    i get the racism too. i am white but still got it as I’m a foreigner, so I say your colour doesn’t matter. i too was brought over to fill a gap but some people do not tend to appreciate that for us to come here we have made sacrifices too. loneliness and isolation are the worst.
    take care and hope you get better soon xx

  85. Ahhh Barbara, what a little poppet you are. I have always believed in Karma, we get back what we give out in this life. Hence why you have this huge outpouring of positive thinking and energy coming your way, which I believe will have the capability of seeing this horrible illness off. Your nurse also sounds like one of life’s little angels. If it’s true that things happen for a reason, then you were meant to meet at the very time you needed each others support the most. I wonder if all of those nasty people that have so much to say were to stand in front of a mirror and say those disgusting things to themselves, they’d realise how awful they sound and what horrible people they are. In the words of Thumper…”If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”. The other one is ‘always treat someone the way you would like to be treated yourself. If everyone were to do this, what a lovely world it would be. Thank goodness for the safe happy environment called Shac Shac, for that I thank you Barbara.

  86. I have been that girl too when I went to work as a nurse in the US. Luckily for me they allocated me a “buddy” for 6 weeks and I stayed with her family and staff on my ward planned outings, meals helped me find somewhere to live – 30 odd years on many of us are still in touch. Maybe that’s why I chose to volunteer as a befriender? Loneliness and social isolation are such hidden but widespread issues that have such a negative impact on your health.
    Your new friend might get some support and find new friends at the caribbean nurses association

  87. Ohh Barbara
    You must be so angry about the way your nurse has been treated. I will never ever understand how people can be so unkind.
    Bigots are the lowest of the low
    On the plus side you and she are now friends and you can never have to many friends.
    Please take care oof YOU and rest.
    You are loved and missed by all your loyal

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *