Good Grief

Good Grief

Hi there

Thanks for popping in. Funny old day. Going through the motions, going through the paperwork. The sadness comes in waves. One minute you think you’re fine, the next you’re in floods of tears. I daren’t listen to Billie Holiday. We had Billie Holiday on all through the weekend with Dad. He could still hear EVERYTHING, and was evidently enjoying his favourite singer. His arms were up in the air, and he was tapping away to the rhythm of the music, endlessly. At one point on Sunday morning, Brother Steve said he’d had enough of Billie Holiday. So I switched to Norah Jones. Down went Dad’s arms. Mmmm. Let’s try Ella . He likes Ella. Nothing. Arms down by his side. “Shit”, said Steve, “go back to Billie Holiday quickly!” So I did, and immediately up went the arms and the clicking and tapping continued. Phenomenal. Marvellous. Magical.

But I cannot listen to Blue Moon or I’ll be seeing you any time soon – it will break my heart.

Quote # 11

Grief is the price we pay for Love

Queen Elizabeth II

So very true. And I loved my Dad more than words can even begin to describe, so it’s small wonder I ache so much.

Tina is on TV tomorrow 11am and 3pm Pergamano Show. That poor girl already went through this with her Dad a few years ago. Now she is looking after her sick Mum. But she keeps going, you know. She keeps going. And I have to follow suit. But not yet.

Tina will be heading up the Pergamano Shows on Create & Craft at 11am & 3pm revisiting some of my all time favourite Groovi designs designed by our Jim in the office. I love these!

First came the Border & Corners

and then came the Nested Lace Frames

Here is some inspiration from the design team

If you are new to Groovi and stuggling to write backwards, then these Sentiment Borders are a must have

Tina will also be showcasing her “Fun” Groovi Quartet

some more from the design team

So I hope you can tune in and support Tina and I am sure you will pick up a tip or trick; I know that I usually do!

Love always

Barb x x x

57 thoughts on “Good Grief

  1. Just go with the flow Barbara, whether that’s tears or laughing at your memories (all good for you). There will always be that certain music to set you off but in time it will make you smile too.

    Do you know I’ve got those borders and don’t think I’ve used them, yet have the circle versions – why not? No idea but I’m going to !

    Love to all xx

  2. So sad for your loss I know how it feels to lose your dad I have been there and 6 years on still have down days xx The feeling never goes away it just gets easier to function normally xx
    Take time don’t let anyone tell you how or when you should feel things you will know when you are ready to face life again xx much love to your family at this difficult time xx remember the good times xx

  3. I totally understand what you are going through and it is all part of the grieving process.Talk about a rollercoaster, but cathartic in some ways too. Just go with the flow.
    I shall have to catch up with Tina, as I love to watch her, but I am with my Groovi friends at the ENGG tomorrow. That blue card in the middle above is one of my all time favourites and I have used that design many times, in various colours.
    Take care Barb. Sending hugs. XX

  4. Well Barbara, Tina is going to be very busy with all those groovi plates! Love the samples too!
    Take things slowly, you will get there in the end! Hugs.x

  5. I do feel for you so much – my dad is 89 and we are very close and I dread that time we must all go through. When I lost my Mum I just concentrated in getting through each day, one at a time and I’m sure you’re doing the same. Some were better than others and there’s no plan for grieving, we all handle it differently. It’s hard being the strong one, supporting your lovely Mum so don’t forget your loss too – be kind to yourself, it’s very early days yet. Sending love xx

  6. Thank you for continuing to blog, it can’t be easy. I bought the borders and corners when they first came out so I’ll be interested to see what Tina does with them tomorrow. Thinking of you all. Much love. Xx

  7. Much love to you at this extremely sad time Barbara. I wish you the strength to deal with what you have to deal with. But otherwise just take time for you Mum, Dave and Steve. Xx

  8. Grief is a strange old thing. Just when you think you’re coping, it can trip you up and make you fall flat on your face. A piece of music, a scent, a sound….anything really! You will have a “Dad shaped” hole in your heart for the rest of your life, but the edges with get smoother and more comfortable. Be kind to yourself Barbara….one hour at a time! x

    1. Take each day at a time and be kind to yourself. It’s hard being kind to yourself. We each grieve in different stages. Take time to grieve and don’t feel guilty. The stronger the love the stronger the grief. How’s Mum coping? Much love ❤️ hugs 🤗 and prayers for you all xx

  9. Thinking of you and your family. Like you I lost my lovely Dad over 20 years ago, it was hard to say good bye but I have been left with many very happy memories and every time I dust my sideboard I smile at his photo and say hello.

  10. I still cannot listen to Military Wives because I had one of their songs at Geoff’s funeral, nearly ten years ago. The words fitted my feelings perfectly at that time. Music and smells, in particular, will suddenly bring back memories unexpectedly. It is all part of grief, which only comes from love.
    Thinking of you and your family, with lots of love,
    Maggie Craner (Silvercrafter)

  11. So sorry to hear about your dad. My husband died in August, so I know about that hole in your life. Just take it slowly and don’t pressure yourself. Kind regards.

  12. Hi Barbara
    Just go with the flow it will become easier but not for a while. I can’t listen to Daniel O’Donnell as was mum’s favourite. I remember having a conversation with my brother in law and he said he still cannot listen to Max Bygraves as that was his mum’s favourite. I think music is a very poignant reminder, have just changed mums room to a music room and put a saying on the wall which say “ Music is what feelings sound like” very apt. One of the cats will always sit on her chair in the room. They do leave a big hole.
    Always thinking of you love and hugs 🫂
    Ruth and Jackie xx

  13. Losing my parents made me feel that someone had ripped out my heart. But with time,memories and music can be a big comfort .
    I’m amazed that you are able to blog this week, Barbara.
    I’m not looking forward to 17th Jan, the anniversary of my son’s death (then aged 34, leaving his two little boys aged 6 and 4- now 19 and 17 but sadly they can’t remember much about their Dad. Except he always said “Always look on the Bright side of life”. Love and hugs x

  14. You don’t have to be strong, you don’t have to cope, you just have to be you. We all grieve in different ways and they are all acceptable. If you need to cry, then cry. If you don’t cry that is not wrong. If you laugh that is not wrong, it means you are remembering good times. If you want to be alone that is fine too. Don’t let people force their help on you. Care for yourself and your family in the right way for you and your loved ones and don’t let anyone else tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing. Your SHAC community will be here for you when you feel the time is right to get back on the bus. Thoughts and prayers are with you all. Love Kath xx

  15. Go with the flow and have tears and a laugh with sweet memories….
    Sending lots of love and prayers and a big hug.

  16. So sorry for your loss. It will be 10 years this May 4th since my Dad died & the pain is still there. Not as raw as it was but always present. And certain songs still bring on the tears. My thoughts are with you at this time xxx

  17. Music’ll do that to you every time.
    Thank you for sharing so much with us – I hope you’re finding it helps you, as a form of release and/or a little piece of routine in a rudderless world

  18. One moment at a time, some days will be better than others but at least you have memories both happy & sad to look back on.
    Looking forward to seeing what Tina has to show us tomorrow although I will have to catch up later in the day as it is our first meeting of the Bromsgrove Parchers for 2023. I have the plates, both A5sq & border, so it will be great to get some new ideas on how to make the most of them. There are also some great samples above from the design team. Its a great community we all belong to, sharing & caring for each other xx

  19. As you’ve told us so many times Barbara – travel gently. Be kind to yourself and go with the flow. People always mention ‘time’ when it comes to grief so ………… take time to laugh, to cry, to remember, to love and most of all to take care of yourself ❤️

  20. Grief is indeed the price we pay for love…and its a heavy price. Just be kind to yourself and expect the waves to ebb and flow. Thinking of you all and sending hugs. xx

  21. When I lost my son and my husband a Friend said “Give time time”. It’s been 13 years since I lost them both but my memories keep me going. I’m remembering you, your Mum and all the family in my prayers. Take care of each other. Xxx

  22. I lost my 96 year old dad last February so I do understand what you are going through. Just do what you need to do, for you and your family, when you need to do it.
    Doesn’t seem appropriate but I must thank Claritystamp for my birthday card. Much appreciated.
    Take care of each other, Paul & the team will do the rest xxx

  23. Your lovely dad lives on through you and Steve, and your children. All the love and lessons and memories that you shared together – they will always remain. Cry when you need to, for as long as you want to. Grief is, indeed, the price we pay for love x

  24. I’d like to say it gets better with time but I lost my dad 30 years ago and I still find myself in floods of tears due to a song on the radio a certain smell but I just let the tears flow and remember why that song?why that smell?and sure enough I’m soon back to smiling. Take time for yourself and your family the world outside can wait for a while. Xxx

  25. Appreciate the time you had him and eventually you will enjoy your memories of him. Sending you a big hug Barbara and thanks for all you do for all of us, who you may not realise you do so much for. Xx

  26. I totally understand how you feel. My dad’s been gone for over 40 years but I still miss him and I guess I always will. The pain will ease and then you can look back fondly on all the memories and happy times you shared.

  27. Dear Barbara you must do whatever feels like the right thing to do at the time. You can smile and laugh and cry about the same thing and it’ll be little things that trigger you! A smell or sound, a feeling that you’re not alone or feeling like you’ve forgotten something important. It’s all part of the process and it never gets completely better but you learn to control it and live with it. But not just yet!
    Sending you special love

  28. So sorry to hear of your loss. I do know how difficult this is. Give yourself all the time you need and be kind to you. My thoughts are with you and your family. God bless ❤️

  29. So sorry to hear about your dad. Be very kind and gentle to yourself it’s hard to loose a precious dad.You are in our prayers

  30. Grief….is much like precious sea glass. When it first enters the sea it is all pointed, rough and jagged, it hurts with every touch. But with the fullness of time it becomes rounded, smooth and will bring a smile at the fondness of its touch….. my thoughts and love are with you all xXx

  31. Heartfelt sympathy Barbara so very sorry to hear your sad news. You have some very difficult days ahead but stay strong love. Take one day at a time at your own pace. There is no time limit on grief and everybody grieves differently. Take it slow live

  32. A beautiful quote Barbara, sending big hugs to all of you. Take time to cherish the memories and love. Bx

  33. No words…’s bloody hard, one just learns to live with it in your own way. May your Dad’s memory be a blessing to you in the future.

  34. Grief comes in waves sometimes gently and sometimes with force. Surf them as best you can. Don’t try to go against them. Remember the good times they will hurt but also bring joy. Big hugs xxx

  35. So sorry to hear of the sad loss of your dad. Dealing with the grief is a hard but necessary process for us all. Even 15 years on from my dad’s death, I still have the occasional but fleeting moments when sadness comes over me but it’s followed by happy memories. Grief seems to act as a trigger to bring those memories alive so I see it as a good thing! Cherish those memories and he will always be with you. Big hugs xxx

  36. Music definitely triggers memories. Silent Night always brings a lump to my throat at Christmas as Dad used to sing it to us when we were young. For a few years before he died in 1980 he grew a big fluffy white beard and occasionally was mistaken by some little’uns for Santa. Sometimes I still feel he is watching over me and I remember the twinkle in his eye and a cheeky grin and it is so uplifting.
    Grieve your own way and you will get through this.
    I have all these plates by Tina and will record the programmes to watch later for new ideas.
    Sending 💕

  37. The cost of love is indeed high, but it is that love that walks with us in the grief, and holds us and gives us the strength to bear it.
    Thankyou so much for your blog every day – it is more of a blessing to so many more of us than you can imagine.
    Beautiful samples again today – so much talent!
    Love Rosemary T xx

  38. So sorry for your loss Barbara. There are no words that will make it better but in your own time you will learn to cope. My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time xxx

  39. thinking of you all at this incredibly sad time. I know your pain very well having lost my dad 13 months ago. compounding this is we were denied seeing him for the last 7 days of his life due to someone’s mess up at the Nursing Home. I hope you can think of all the good times you’ve had and the sadness will slowly ease away. it never goes but does get easier
    love to you all xx

  40. Nothing that we have been through or heard can prepare us for the loss of our parents, even though we expect it at some point. You and yours are in my thoughts. You are surrounded by love, try and get lots of rest, grief is exhausting.

  41. Hi Barb. Thinking of you at this sad time. I am glad to hear that the family got to spend that quality time with your beloved Dad. One can never underestimate the power of music. After I lost my Mum, I couldn’t bear to listen to the radio for weeks, as everything made me sad. Four years on, I can listen with happy memories, and I am sure it will be the same for you. I lost my Dad in November, and still cannot listen to Andrea Bocelli. I know I will in time …….. The grief is like the waves of the sea, and often it’s the small, silly things which will have you in floods of tears. Even as a child I dreaded the thought of losing my parents. The reality was even worse, but “that’s the price we pay for love”. Take care. Sending love and hugs Linda 🤗❤️ X

  42. Thank you Barbara for writing your blog everyday- I appreciate how hard it must be to do. I admire and thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings, special moments (ie. music) and your world. Grief is hard, very hard- I ask that you give yourself time, kindness and grace- how you feel moment to moment is how you feel and that is okay. You have done so much over the years to help me get through tough times with your kindness, creativity, laughter, the Shac Shac, your blog and more. All your amazing products that I own and love give me hours of enjoyment, creativity and calm and more and help especially during tough times.
    Please be patient with yourself and take things moment by moment. Sending hugs to you and your family.

  43. It will be hard for a long while Barb. Just go with the flow. You will slowly start to feel better. Sending love and hugs to you all.

  44. Thinking of you and sending love and virtual hugs to you and your family at this sad time.

    I lost my mum 36 years ago. She was only 50 and I still think of her all the time. I am glad you got to spend precious time with your dad and one can never underestimate the power of music. One Queen song in particular resonates with me as it was on the radio when I was driving to the hospice for those last couple of days. It makes me sad every time I hear it, even 36 years on but it also makes me think about all the good times I had with my mum and what a wonderful mum she was.

    Go with the flow Barb, everyone grieves differently. Take all the time you need and when you need it and most importantly be kind to yourself.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

  45. Hi just to say you will keep that memory of your dad for ever arm
    Swaying hand stopping
    God bless to you and all your family xx

  46. This helped me in my grief, hope it does you too, just a little bit ❤️
    “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” Winnie the Pooh.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *