Hi there

Thanks for popping in. It’s been a bit of a Duvet Day today. Just went with how I felt, which was pretty low and lousy. So just kept crawling back in under the eiderdown. Cleaned a bit, had a kip, pottered a bit, lay down again, made necessary phone calls, went back to bed. And that’s ok. Not something I have EVER done, but hey. Nothing feels right today; just don’t know where to turn or what to do. Which brings me to our Quote of the Day. Quote # 12

When in doubt, hang about.


This one has stood me in good stead for many years. Don’t know what to do? Unsure how to react? Well then, do nothing. Wait. Sleep on it, as they say. Here’s another one:

“There’s nothing that important that it can’t wait a day”

I have been reading through all your posts and comments too, and realise that so many of you have been here – and much, much worse. To lose a parent is one thing – to lose a child though. Which is why you get it and you get me and what we are going through. Dave was saying this morning sometimes we have to go through these feelings and emotions in order to be able to help and support the next person. And you are certainly are.

So that’s where we’re at. Tomorrow is another day.

Love always

Barb x x x

62 thoughts on “Doovayday

  1. Sometimes it’s just what you need. You’re suffering a very painful heartbreaking loss, so you do what you need to, to get you through. You’re a wonderful person and my heart goes out to you xx

  2. Glad to know you are going with the flow, there are always the necessary things to do but, once they’re done, you do what is right for you. I agree with Dave. 💙

  3. Grief affects everyone in different ways Barbara, just let your body do what it needs to do and give yourself all the time you need to grieve. I lost my dad suddenly in June 2019, the first time I had lost the closest member of my family. It is hard but life and time goes on and each day it gets slightly better such that now although we still miss him dearly, Mum and I can think of him without tears and know that he is watching over us. I have his photo on my crafting desk and talk to him frequently and show him my cards as I know he used to examine them and give constructive criticism to help me. Your dad will be with you in whatever you do and you can refer to him by asking what you think he would do in any situation. I think what I’m trying to say is do whatever YOU need to do and take each day as it comes. There are many people who are thinking of you and feeling your sadness. Be with your family and get support from each other, they need you now xx

  4. Dear Barbara, you have a blanket of love to comfort you, may it warm your heart whenever you need it xxx ❤️

  5. Thinking of you. We have to go through a huge transition curve when grieving. Sorrow, anger, acceptance. We may swing back and forth and eventually come out the other side. Founded by experts and called Sudona. Take care and much love

  6. If that’s what you needed, then there’s nothing wrong with that.
    Things are very raw for you at the moment, do what you have to do, take time.
    We’re all behind you Barbara. xxx

  7. Do what you want to do, you have to go through the healing process, don’t rush it, let it take its time and keep your dad always in your heart. ❤️

  8. A duvet day sounds great! Just what you need as the coming weeks will be hectic both for body and mind!
    Hugs to you all.xx

  9. you are grieving sweetie and you just have go with it. You have been in our thoughts and prayers xx

    Glynis and Pete x

  10. A duvet day sounds great! Just what you need as the coming weeks will be hectic both for body and mind! Take time to laugh, time to cry and time for solitude.
    Hugs to you all.xx

  11. I’m so sorry Barbara that your having to go through this. I hope your mum is ok and coping. I lost my dad when I was 38 and my oldest daughter was 8 months old. I’m forever grateful he got to see her and see me happy but miss him to this day and I’m 74 now!! It will get easier as I’m sure everyone is telling you and it’s true. You’ll have your happy memories forever. Take care of yourself. Xx

  12. And if you feel like it have another one tomorrow. Just don’t push yourself too hard, the world will just about still be there when you want to see it again.

  13. A duvet day is your bodies way of helping you cope and adjust to the shock and trauma of what you are going through. Nothing wrong with that in fact probably better to give in to it instead of fighting it like you would normally- now is not normal so just go with the flow xxxx

  14. The only person who really knows what you are going through and feeling at this time is yourself, Barb. So you must do what you need to do to get through this period of grief and loss, knowing your loved ones are there to help you and you are there for them. Take your time, one day, one hour or a minute at a time. The love and understanding from your family and friends will help you through the difficult moments and keep you company in the better times. Take care, Barbara, be kind to yourself and remember the best times with your Dad.
    (I “had to order” the new dandelion three way overlay stamps after reading your blog about them. How could I resist a brilliant design from the amazing Mel and some magic handiwork from the talented Jazz? As I already have the die, stencil and Groovi plates, it would be rude not to complete the set! Ordered at 1000, despatched at 1600 the same day! Team Clarity, you are awesome and very special!)

  15. The thing you need to know is everyone is different, grief affects us in different ways so if you need a day in bed thats fine. You do you. Thinking of you. xx

  16. Your body needs you to listen to it at the moment, be kind to yourself. Thinking of you and your family at this very sad time x x

  17. Do what feels right to cope with each day, grieving is exhausting and we all deal with things in our own way. Everyone is behind you upholding you and sending you love and strength. We are all here for you. xx

  18. oh Barbara, I’m actually relieved to hear you have listened to your body today. Stress, grief, worry and not forgetting the depressing weather is enough to make anyone feel lously! – If that’s what your body is telling you to do, do it! Never, ever feel guilty because its your body and mind needing a rest to heal. Doesn’t matter how long it takes. xx

  19. Hi just do as you feel every one who as been were you are at the moment understands take care and God Bless and hope your Mom is going on alright .Got a good family to look after her
    Love to all

  20. Grief strips you back to the bones and is so strong and different for everyone. It makes the better days so special so you will get to a more bearable phase and you will get through the dark days as your Dad words will ring in your ears x

  21. Go with the flow Barbara. Do what your heart tells you. You need days like this. Thinking of you. Sending you hugs from Australia.

  22. I think it’s easy to forget the importance of self care in midst of everything. There is so much to do at times like these, but you have to look after yourself as well – that’s why cabin crew tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others in the event of an emergency! One day at a time 💕

  23. Just caught up with your blog been rather under the weather with some flu bug after our trip to the UK for Christmas, does it ever stop raining !!!
    The purpose of which was to be with family particularly my mum who is 93 and becoming more frail.
    I was just so sad to read about Dad, not for him but for you ones left behind.
    Sounds like you had a bit of a party though, I will be thinking about you all and praying that the Lord will strengthen and comfort you as you share in the happier memories that you will have. God Bless

  24. Like others above have said, I am pleased you listened to your body and took time out. I know that’s difficult for you , you are always so busy spinning your plates. You will miss that one plate that you have been spinning and thats why you didn’t know which way to turn. Keep doing whatever comforts you, be kind to yourself.

    I hope the rest of the family are coping- sending you all lots of love!

  25. As Maggie might have said “You turnover if you want to” No shame in that. No wonder you feel at a loss just now. Do what feels right for you and your Mum and extended family . There are no rules and no experts. Take care xxx

  26. Sending hugs . You have had a huge shock, as although we know in our hearts the day will come , we cannot be not prepared. I didn’t even recognise my own doctor when i was in shock. We smile about it now as time rolls on . Keep safe and be kind to yourself.xx

  27. Just do the things that are absolutely necessary then relax and do what is right for you. Duvet days can be healing. Let your whizzy head have a break.
    Hugs 🍒

  28. Your body needs to rest and build up energy to do the next steps in the grieving process. Listen to it and have the duvet days ❤️xxx

  29. No harm in having a duvet day, if you slept during the day you obviously needed it to recharge the batteries. Go with the flow & take each day as it comes xx

  30. I lost my Dad at 15 and my Mum at 34 (I’m now 44) and it still sometimes hits me like it was yesterday, a certain smell, a song, something someone says at it takes you right back to that moment your world changes. You now have to live a different kind of normal and it completely throws you off balance and the only thing you can do is ride the waves, it never gets easier, we’ll it hasn’t for me you just adapt and learn a new way to live, grief is the price we pay for love ❤️ we’re sending you oudles of love and hugs, you and all the family are in our thoughts and prayers 😘♥️ xxxx

  31. Hi Barbara
    A duvet day sounds just the ticket. Look after yourself and then the rest will fall into place. My mum lost 2 sons and a grandson before she passed away, I will never forget her words to me in her last weeks “ I’m ready to go before any more of my children go”.
    It still makes me cry so I will leave you with your duvet while I search for a tissue.
    Love and hugs Ruth and Jackie xx

  32. Sometimes we forget to look after ourselves because we are looking after everyone else.
    Take time for yourself duvet day number one take a few more of them.
    Thinking of you all every day. Hugs 🤗

  33. Take each day as it comes, sweetheart. It’s almost 9 years since I lost the man who treated me as one of his own kids and I still have days when all I can do is curl up under a blankie

  34. Just like there’s no ‘owner’s manual’ on dealing with parenting, there’s not one on dealing with bereavement and grief. Everyone has to manage on her or his own and do the best they can. But you can at least be happy in the knowledge that your dad was, and is, well loved and that you have a wonderful, supportive family to get through these bad times. You will support each other and remember your lovely dad and all the good times you had. Just take your time, and travel carefully. xx

  35. Give it time and just go with how you feel. So glad you have plenty of support. Best wishes to you and your family.

  36. Dear Barbara, I do hope today brings a better day. I have a few more years on the clock than you so I know only too well a little of how you feel. Having a loving family to support you is wonderful but the loss of your Dad is unique to you. He was your Dad. The love and relationship between you was yours. Even as an adult the void in your life is still there. It takes a while.
    The music you played during his final hours will always break your heart when you hear it.
    Fifty years ago I lost my best friend, my soul mate, my brother. I kept his favourite Simon and Garfunkel LP, Bridge Over Troubled Water. I have never played it. If ever I hear it played, wherever I am, I have to leave.
    For each and everyone of us the loss is personal. Celebrate their life, dwell on the happy memories but give yourself time to heal.
    God Bless you Barbara. xx

  37. Just go with the flow. Take it minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. There is no set way to process your loss and grief affects everyone differently. Thinking of you all at this sad time. Love me and Miss K

  38. Nothing wrong with such a day, if it don’t become every day a duvet day.
    Take the time to grief and don’t forget the sweet memories you have with your Dad. Perhaps you can share these memories with your Mum.
    sending love and prayers to you and family

  39. Just go with the flow of how you feel Barbara. There is no relief on grief, but you will learn to live with it. Take time to just be and immerse yourself in your family and close friends.
    Love today’s thoughts it’s so right. Xx

  40. Good on you Barbara. Nothing like hiding under a duvet once in a while.
    I don’t know what your views are about God but there’s a quote that has helped me in some very dark days.
    ‘Let go and let God’
    It doesn’t mean you’re abdicating responsibility. It means you don’t always have to be in control and solving life’s problems all by yourself. I suspect that like me you often feel you have to.
    One of the things you can be sure of is that there’s a new day coming and another after that and you will find something to smile about along the way. Rely on your happy memories and on how much your Dad loved you. Then honour his memory by loving yourself just as much. xx

  41. Barbara its early days…give yourself a chance. You go through so many stages of grief & that’s OK.
    My son died in New York , he was only 22. I didn’t cry, I was angry…had the needle to the world. 1st stage for me, then his friends would come around and talk about him & their friendships…I loved it…Now I look back & remember him as a little boy & the memories. There is nothing we can do but carry on….we have no choice. Ones outlook on life changes, you break a vase or ruin your card you’re making..I just say, if it ain’t a life , don’t worry about. This heartbreak will pass, surround yourself with good people. You are strong ! You will survive ! This is part of life. God bless you xx

  42. Hi Barb just go with it, it gets better ,on the surface
    you put on a brave face, it’s what we do, but underneath shit hurts, it gets no better to cope but the hurt goes deeper, that’s how we cope, keep paddling you will get to the other side, although a wet and sloppy mess you get there much love

  43. Oh Barbara , have just seen your post of the passing of you dad. Heartfelt thoughts are sent your way to you and all the family. As everyone has said we all grieve differently and it changes from day to day. You just do want you feel needs doing. I still have my moments after losing both my parents within days of each other back in 2018. They are never far from my thoughts remembering all the good things they did. Sending you hugs 🤗

  44. Oh Barbara , have just seen your post of the passing of you dad. Heartfelt thoughts are sent your way to you and all the family. As everyone has said we all grieve differently and it changes from day to day. You just do want you feel needs doing. I still have my moments after losing both my parents within days of each other back in 2018. They are never far from my thoughts remembering all the good things they did. Sending you hugs 🤗

  45. You are doing what is right for you, Barbara. If you need a duvet day or two, go for it. You will need all your strength in the days ahead. Sending love & hugs to you & your family. x

  46. Dear Barb, you do what feels right to you. As with what everyone else has said, your body is telling you to take it slow. You will need strength for the coming weeks and months. Love and hugs to all of you. Bx

  47. I think we are all with you on doing what feels right. People who try to block out grief often end up with it getting to them later. I hope your Mum is as alright as she can be at the moment and know that she has a lovely family to care for her. Sending hugs to you all. xx

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