Don’t be sad.

Don’t be sad.

Hi there

Thanks for popping in. Our darling Dad died late last night, just before midnight. It’s been a struggle for a while, and I guess, at 85, the old body was just worn out. But not the spirit – never the spirit!

My brother Steve and I were with him. In fact, we camped in his room at the beautiful nursing home with him all weekend, the three of us, right till the end. Never left his side. And he knew it. I won’t dwell on it, but suffice it to say we had a send off to remember. Magical. Music, Love and Laughter. Honestly. We had the best time! Dave popped in. Grace was on the phone the minute she woke up in NY too, joining in! The caring, wonderful staff were amazing. Looked after us like family. And at 10 past 11, on Sunday evening, he decided enough was enough, to move on, and hook up with his lovely sister Evelyn and her husband Kevin – who was his best and oldest friend from when they were kids. I told him that Ev and Kev would be waiting for him, and the first thing Kev would say would be, “what kept you so long ?!“

Quote of the day today. #9. I made it up.

Don’t be sad. Don’t grieve! Be grateful for all the years you had him! And be proud and glad that he was your Dad. YOUR DAD. YOUR Grandad. YOUR Husband, YOUR Brother, YOUR Friend.

Like our Mark said, when he called earlier from San Francisco, “He was The Man, Mum”.

Tomorrow we’ll spend the day with Mum. Drink tea and talk. It has been a tough couple of years for her too. Grace and Mark will be winging their way back soon, so I am stepping away from Work and the SHAC for a while. I need some time to focus on the family. I’m sure you understand.

I promise to blog daily, so check in here

Love always

Barb x x x

154 thoughts on “Don’t be sad.

  1. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this very difficult and sad time. Your words are just beautiful and your Dad will live on in your heart and is at peace now. You need to be kind to yourself and spend time with your family and grieving for the loss of your Dad but also remembering the good life he lived. Please take as long as you need and we will all be here waiting when you are ready to come back. Take care lovely lady ❤️

  2. Thinking of you and all your family and friends at this sad and difficult time. Remember all the good times and look back with laughter and smiles,together with the tears. That’s what your Dad would want.
    Take good care of yourselves. Love and hugs to you all, especially your mum xx

  3. Dear Barbara
    So sorry for your loss. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers at this sad time.
    Denise x

  4. Sorry for your loss, one day at a time you need your family at times like these, all the best to you and your family xxxxx

  5. Thinking of you and the family Barbara. So right to be forever thankful and remember the good times. Take it easy and give yourself time.
    With love and thoughts. Pat

  6. Like you, I was with my dad when he passed away and it was an honour to be with him and say goodbye. Take as much time away as you need and let the family look after you x

  7. Your post made the tears flow Barbara. Partly because of your sad loss but mainly because it sounds like your Dad’s passing was exactly how any of us would want our own to be….surrounded by those we love and who love us. Take some time now to be kind to yourself. Big hugs and love to your Mum too xxx

  8. So very sorry for your loss Barb. Sending love to you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers. xxx

  9. Of course we understand. Take time with your lovely Mum and the rest of your family. Remember the good times – plenty of them I’m sure. We are all here for you and when you are ready we’ll take up our pens again and laugh and cry with you. Take time to heal Barbara loadsa love ❤️ ❤️

  10. So sorry for your loss. You & your family will be in my prayers, at this sad time. Make sure you take time to grieve. Love to you all. xxx

  11. my heartfelt thoughts are with you at this sad time. Your dad will be watching over you always. Thinking of you all

  12. So sorry for your loss and so glad you were able to be with your Dad until the end, hugs to you and your family. Take it one day at a time xx

  13. take as long as you need Barbara, it sounds like you were all able to be with your dad right till the end which is wonderful to surround him with so much love and to be able to comfort each other. now it’s time for you all to heal safe in the knowledge that your dad is no longer suffering. there are so many people thinking of you all and understanding just what you are all going through. stay safe and look after yourselves xx

  14. So very sorry for the loss of your wonderful Dad . My thoughts and prayers are with you , your Mum and family at this time .

  15. Thinking of you and yours with sadness, I know he will be in your thoughts daily as my parents are with me even though they died 40 years ago. Take time to grieve, take care xx

  16. So sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you and the whole family, you gave him love ,laughter right till the end, he will be so proud of what you have done for him. take as much time as you need we will be here for you when your ready, sending hugs x

  17. I’m so sorry for your loss Barb and express my condolences to you and your family – especially your Mum.. one day at a time and we will be here when you are ready to take up your pencils again. Love and hugs – Beryl xxx 💔💔💔

  18. So sorry for your loss. So glad you were able to be with your dad for those final hours like you I also had the honour to be with my dad and knowing that I was with him helped me through the grieving process. Now take time with your family and your mum.❤

  19. Dear Barbara . Your words were so heartfelt, made me quite emotional, but of course we are used to laughing and crying with you in the Shac Shack. We are all feeling your grief.

    I’m so glad you had the time to say goodbye together as a family. Not an easy thing I know from experience, but you will be able to look back one day without the pain you are feeling now.

    Look after yourself and each other. I hope you feel all the love that your Clarity family are sending, you mean a lot to us!

    My deepest condolences. 🙏

    With love Sonia.

  20. My condolences on your sad loss.
    So good you could be together to say goodbye as a family and comfort each other.
    Take all the time you need to grieve and remember this – To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is not to die.
    He will be with you always.
    Love and hugs to you all.

  21. My condolences on your sad loss.
    So good you could be together to say goodbye as a family and comfort each other.
    Take all the time you need to grieve and remember this – To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is not to die.
    He will be with you always.
    Love and hugs to you all.

  22. My sincerest condolences to you Barbara and your beautiful family.
    Your dad may have gone from this world physically but his memory will be with you all forever. He has left his footprints in all your hearts which can never be erased and you must take comfort knowing he lived a happy and fulfilled life right to the end!
    I wish I could wrap you all in my arms now so I’m sending a very huge virtual hug.
    Much love xxxxx

  23. My heartfelt condolences, dear Barbara, to you and your lovely family, especially your dear Mum. I have heard it said “Wherever a beautiful soul has been, there is a trail of beautiful memories” – may your happy memories help you all through this difficult time.
    With much love, Jutta xx

  24. Such a sad time for you all. No words will take the grief away, but enjoy your memories. Revel in the comfort of family.
    Sending condolences and hugs to you Barbara and all the family. ❤️

  25. Sending you and your whole family love and hugs. Take your time Barb and remember that your Clarity family are standing with you whenever you feel sad or alone.
    Lots of love. Xx

  26. So sorry for your loss, Barbara but glad you were able to be with your Dad and give him such a loving send off. Love and hugs to you and all your family, thinking of you all. Let the happy memories of the good times with your Dad guide you through this sad time. Take care, Barb.

  27. My goodness, I haveonly just found your blog and your quotes and your honesty with them, has already brought me peace and reassurance….and after reading today’s post all I can offer you is my prayers for peace and reassurance. I have lost my parents and daughter and I can reassure you, you will find the joy of their life within you, our loved ones remain part of us always until we are reunited.

  28. I’m so sorry to learn of your dear Dad passing away Barbara. So nice that you were all able to be with him and make his passing full of love and laughter, same as his during his life with you all ❤️ May you and all your family and friends be given the strength and patience to deal with his loss. My sincere condolences to you all, especially your lovely Mum.
    Please take care of yourself while looking after everyone else. Sending
    much love and prayers for you and your family, Nahid xXx 🦋💕

  29. Love and hugs and So happy that you and yours can celebrate the great person he was and that you have great memories to keep him alive in your hearts forever x

  30. So sorry for your loss. Sending love to you all. The people we love don’t go away, our lovely memories will always stay.

  31. Just because it was expected, doesn’t make it any less painful. But the way you’ve chosen to focus on the memories, the gratitude, is surely a good way to cope.
    I hope the great outpourings of love from your Clarity community will help to lift you up in the days ahead.
    Big hugs for you and your family xxx

  32. Sending love to you and your lovely family.
    Although I never met your dad I feel that I knew him through you and your blog.
    No one can take your memories so thank you for sharing those with us all 🤗

  33. So sorry for your loss, our thoughts are with you at this sad time and sending love to you and your family xx

  34. I think these words will be appropriate for your dad.
    So many roads and paths we take
    Are brightened by the rays
    Of others who crossed it
    With their warm and sunny ways,
    And when they leave this earth
    They are never really gone
    For many happy memories
    Linger on and on.

  35. My heart goes out to you and your family. You always spoke with such pride and happiness about your Dad. Look after each other.

  36. I am so sorry for your loss Barb and Family. Sending you lots of love and hugs. We are all here for you. Take care xx

  37. So comforting to know that he had his loved ones with him, when his time came Barb. My love and thoughts are with you all. I’m only down the road from your Mum and always at the end of the phone and don’t forget that Samuel gives the best hugs and has one at the ready at all times xxx

  38. your Clarity family will be with you in spirit and keeping you and yours in their hearts and minds, with care, compassion and love.

  39. Although the occasion was a sad one, knowing that you & Steve were able to be there with him will have meant a lot to your Dad. You now know that he is at peace & no longer suffering but you can also look back on all those wonderful memories & remember the good times.
    Take as much time as you need to be with your family especially your mom. We will be all here ready to doodle whenever you feel able to climb into the drivers seat & steer the bus off on a new journey.
    One day at a time, sort tomorrow out when it comes, sending a big virtual hug to all the Gray & Clarity family xx

  40. Oh Barbara there are no words to say how sorry I am but I’ll try. Holding you close and thinking of you and your family. Your lovely Dad was obviously such a special man and clearly you had the same kind of relationship that I have with mine. The prrice we pay of loving them so much is the grief we feel when they leave us but we’d never be without all those special times and memories. Take time to begin the grieving process although that will have started when he became unwell initially and take care of yourself too. Much love Janice xx

  41. Thinking of you Barbara
    I lost my dad on the
    30th sept 2022
    Was such a hard time for me and my mam and the pain is still there miss him so much but he suffered enough and needed his rest in heaven
    As I’m sure your dad has done too
    Thinking of you and your family at this very difficult time xxxx

  42. How beautifully you express your thoughts and feelings, as always. so often you bring tears to my eyes, and as I read this there is no exception. I al so pleased that your dad left you in such a wonderful way, as befits the love you all share. sending you all love and hugs, see you much later…

  43. Thinking of you all Barbara. Take time with your precious family and always remember “Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day.” XX

  44. So sorry to have read about the loss of your dear Dad Barbara. My thoughts are with you, your mum and your whole family at this difficult time.

    Reading of your Dad’s passing has brought back some memories of my own Dad’s passing, so I understand what it is like to lose a parent. Take care and time for yourself and your family; one day at a time.

    Though tears may fall from time to time and you all feel an ache in your hearts, he will forever be with you all in your collective memories and in time will console and comfort all of your family.

    Sending virtual hugs.

    #Quote:
    Grief is the price we pay for Love.
    Her Late Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

    When a feather appears, Angels are near.

  45. Hi Barbara
    So sorry to hear about your Dad. Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with those you love. ❤️‍🩹.
    Looks and hugs Ruth and Jackie xx

  46. A sad blog but a lovely blog, what a beautiful way to say goodbye and your Dad is at rest now, knowing it was ok to go. Lots of love to your Mum, and your family, drink lots of tea, cry, laugh, remember good times and cherish one another. We will all be thinking of you all and take good care of yourselves. Xx

  47. A final, beautiful memory for you, which will join all the lifetime of memories that you hold of your lovely dad. Speak of him often and he will be with you always. Sending much love as you and your family grieve his passing x

  48. We feel like we know your Dad Barbara after your companionship over the last two years. I was with both my mum and dad when they passed and it did comfort me that they were not alone, as I am sure it will be the same for you. Hugs for you and your family at this sad time. Give your mum a hug from us all in the Shac.
    Su

  49. So sorry for your loss, keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Sending virtual hugs to all of you at this sad time.

  50. Sending you virtual hugs and praying for you and your family at this sad time. I’m sure you will find comfort in remembering all the good memories you have of times together. Look after you and Yours. God bless! 😘 xx

  51. Dear Barb
    I hope you find strength in the words of your Clarity and Shac families.
    We stand united in our heartfelt wishes of comfort and love for you and your family at this very sad time.
    Take the time you need, and if you need us, you know where we are.
    Sending you all strength love ❤️ and hugs from afar.
    love Tina.xx

  52. Sending Heartfelt Condolences to all of the family and loved ones. Keeping you in my prayers, may you all be blessed with strength and fortitude at this really sad and painful time. Bx

  53. I am so sorry for your loss Barbara, we know from the Shac how much you loved and admired your Dad (the photo says it all) so how wonderful you could spend the last hours with him in such a beautiful way creating another warm memory to cherish.
    My thoughts are with you and your family especially your Mum.
    Busy days ahead now so please take all the time you need for yourself.
    Lots of love.
    Lynn x

  54. Oh Barbara, so sad to hear that your dad died on Sunday. How lovely that you were all with him at the end. Remember all the good bits of his life and talk about him, it will ease the pain.
    My thoughts are with you. Hugsxxx

  55. I’m so sorry Barbara. I knew there was something big that kept you from the tele yesterday when you were billed to be there and I was thinking about you a lot. Wondering. Your message and your attitude is absolutely right and I applaud you for it. But no matter what you tell yourself, you will feel a little sad sometimes. Don’t be afraid to allow yourself that when you miss him the most. You’re a strong character and you’ll feel the need to be strong for all those around you. but you don’t have to be strong all the time. How do I know that? I’m in my 70s now and it’s taken a while but I’m learning! Be kind to yourself. Focus on your own personal needs and those of your family. We’re all fine and we will be for as long as you need. God knows we’ve got enough stuff in our stash to keep us going for an eternity! God bless you and all those you love. xx

  56. Thinking of you all Barb at this sad time. Pleased you were able to be with your lovely dad until the end. No more suffering for him now Bless him but he will be forever in all of your hearts.
    You need to take as much time for yourself and your family as you need to now.
    As for the Shack, yes we are going to miss ‘it’ and you but I hope by now you know how much we love and appreciate you. We will be ready to pick up pen and paper again whenever you are ready however much time it takes.
    Much love to you Barb, Dave, Grace, Mark and of course your lovely mum.
    Kathy xxx

  57. Sending love and hugs to you all. It sounds like you gave your lovely Dad a wonderful send off. You couldn’t have done things better 💗xxxx

  58. So very sorry to hear your sad news Barb. I know how hard it is but it was wonderful & moving to hear how you were at your Dad’s side in his final days.
    Sending love and hugs to you & Dave and all your family, especially your Mum. You need lots of time so please take it. We are all feeling for you.
    With love, Linda x

  59. Heartfelt condolences to all your family Barb. We too spent the last days like this with our Mum. Something to cherish in such sadness.

  60. Everyone has said it all. As you said recently he had reached the point of being sick and tired of being sick and tired so is now resting peacefully. My thoughts are with you and all the family.

  61. Love thoughts and prayers to you and your lovely family Barb, and especially to your darling Mum. Take all the time that’s needed, the love shared by family is the most precious thing in life. Rosemary T xx

  62. My thoughts and prayers are with you all, a very sad time. Take time out Barbara, nothing is more important than family. Dad’s are so special. xxx

  63. Heartfelt condolences to all your family. It was always lovely to hear the quips from both your mum and dad and their antics too.

  64. Thinking of you and your lovely family Barbara. Take as long s you need and we will all be here for you when you are able to return, Sending love and hugs especially to your Mum xx

  65. So sorry to hear that your dad has passed away.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time. x

  66. A Dad like yours, and mine, will always be a happy memory. His sayings and fun will be with you all. Our thoughts are with you all and especially your Mum. Love Christine and Brian xx

  67. So sorry for your loss, but glad to see that you took the opportunites to be with your dear Dad before and to the end. May your memories bring you and your family some comfort amidst your sorrow.

  68. Thank you for sharing your sad news. Cherish your family and memories. They will always be there. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Elizabeth

  69. Dear Barbara, thinking and praying for you and all you family. Take as much time as you need, a time to grieve and reflect on all the wonderful times you spent together.
    Clarity will continue with all your wonderful staff. They are the best. God bless you xxx

  70. Thinking of you and your family at this sad time. I hope all the lovely, funny, happy memories you share together will help you all a little. Xx

  71. so sorry for your loss Barbara. I lost my mum a few weeks ago, so totally understand the need to step away and be with your family. Take care of yourself, and know we are all thinking of you all. With love…Debbi Powell xx

  72. So sorry Barbara, for you, your Mum and the whole family, he sounded wonderful. I remember you writing about him listening to Amy Winehouse. My thoughts are with you all xx

  73. So sorry to hear of your Dad’s passing. I’m very surprising at how upset I feel, though I never knew him, except through you. Take comfort from your memories, your family and your Clarity ‘family’, (both staff and customers). Whenever you wish you could see his face again, just look in the mirror – he’s all over yours. Take care special lady. Love to you all at this sad time.

  74. I have never blogged before but your loss and the sadness you and your family are going through made me feel very tearful. We arrive with joy and happiness and depart with great sadness, its the way of things but the years in between …a life well lived.
    Bless you all. xx

  75. My condolences to you and all friends and family. So pleased you were able to stay to the end, my brother and I spent as much time as we could with our Dad, unfortunately only my brother was there at the end, but at least neither your or my father died alone and that will bring you comfort.

  76. So, so sorry for your loss. So happy you had precious last minutes making a final lifelong memory.
    Sending love and hugs.

  77. So very sorry for yours & your families loss Barbara. Thinking of you & sending love to you all at this sad time.
    Love & Hugs Anne xx

  78. Sending warmth and hugs to you all. Lost my dad too some years ago, it’s a mixture of so many feelings.
    Being with the ones you love always helps.
    Take care 😘

  79. So sorry to hear of your loss Barbara .Words can’t ease your sadness but may the wonderful memories you share of your dear Dad help to sustain you and all the family at this time of grief . Thinking of you .Carmel x

  80. Sorry to hear about your loss . Glad you were able to be with him at the end. Will be thinking of you and your family.
    Love and hugs
    Yvonne xx

  81. How true your words are. My mum was 84 when we lost her but ,how grateful am I that she was my mum for 58 years (others aren’t so lucky)!! ❤
    Love and thoughts x

  82. Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. lots if live Tina
    p.s I always read your blog but have never posted. I couldn’t read this one and leave it there.

  83. Condolences to you and your family at 5his difficult time. celebrate your dad’s life and hold 9n to those precious memories you shared together. thinking of you. Take care of you.
    Heather xxx

  84. I am so sorry to read your sad news Barbara, I am glad you were all able to be with him at his passing. Time is a wonderful healer, the hurt and pain will go and you will be left with wonderful memories. Take care, the coming days will be hard.

  85. So sorry to hear your sad news but glad you were able to be together at this time. Thinking of you all and sending much love to you and yours x

  86. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Thinking of you brought memories of losing my father and tears fell, even after 36 years. It only goes to prove how much love we shared, as is the case with you all.
    Take all the time you can to be with family.
    ❤️

  87. Dear Barbara
    So sorry for the loss of your dear Dad.
    He will always watch over you and will be forever in your heart.
    Thinking of you and the family at this difficult time. Sending love and hugs.

  88. I think this makes the 124th comment on your blog today, and having read them all I can only say, I agree with all of the above, so take time for yourself as you come to terms with the passing of your very much loved father. My thoughts and prayers are for you and your family tonight. Travel gently.

  89. Hi Barbara
    just read your blog as always and we send our deepest condolences to you and your family at this sad time.
    love and hugs
    Barbara & Victor Tutssel x

  90. My love and thoughts are with you and your mum and the rest of the family at this sad time. Remember the lovely years you all had with your lovely Dad and take comfort and strength from your memories. 💕

  91. Time will never be long enough but a blessing to have so much love surrounding him and so many happy treasured days. Take comfort from those who are close to you and know he is now safely home….so much love from your friends on this blog and hope it sustains you through the next days and weeks. Take care of yourself and those you love and take all the time you need xxxx

  92. So sorry Barbara and all your family been there and it is hard .
    Take care and and of your mom bless her sending love and prayers for all of you .
    Take time to rest and spend time with your dear mom
    God bless
    Kathleen
    Xx❤🌹

  93. Over the years, I have found your blog such a source of joy, comfort and creative ideas, and throughout, the love between you and your family is clear for all to see. I am so sorry to hear that your dear Dad has passed on, and it doesn’t surprise me that despite the grief and loss you must feel, your post still manages to be positive and uplifting.
    I am adding my own hugs, thoughts and prayers to those already expressed above, and am thinking of you and your family at what must be a difficult time. H x

  94. –Dear Barb,
    Just heard about your dear Dad – so sorry to hear the news, I know how close you were to him.
    Please give my very best wishes to all your family – I have even met your Mum and Grace at the retreats.
    Glad you were able to be with your Dad at the end of his life.
    Love and best wishes,
    Pat Humby

  95. Dear Barbara,

    My thoughts and feeling s are with you and the whole family at this hard time. Love and big hugs to you all xx .

  96. Hi Barbara
    I am truly sorry for your loss, but I was pleased to hear that you and Steve were with him and were able to give him a good send off.
    My thoughts are with you and your whole family. Its good that you have each other in this time of need.
    Love & Hugs
    Penny
    xxxxx

  97. Such a Beautiful photo with you and your father at guergaro Barbara. Wonderful memories. Now he is watching from Above, knowing exactly where to put the « boule de pétanque « !
    Sending Love to you and your family and your father wherever he is.
    Elisabeth et Alain

  98. So sorry to read of the passing of your darling dad.
    I am sure he was so very proud of you and all that you have achieved. Your support to thousands of us during lockdown and since is
    Something I am sure made him so proud.
    I am pleased you and your brother were able to be with him at his time of passing.
    Please know we all love you and your family , take time to grieve and remember the happy times you all had as a family xx

  99. lovely photo of you and your dad, just take one day at a time, our thoughts and love are with you and all your family, please take time to grieve, we are all here for you all, think of all the good times you have had, you have achieved a lot and make us happy wìth helping us with crafting. your dad will be so proud and he will be the brightest star 🌟 in the sky
    love to you all

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