Eurotunnel. Relax, we’ll drive…you mad.

Eurotunnel. Relax, we’ll drive…you mad.

Hi there.
Thanks for popping in.
Very late this evening.
Just got in.
Boy oh boy. What a trip back from our little shopping excursion.
It was going quite well all the way through Germany, Holland, Belgium and France, despite the mental drivers, the sleet and rain, the wheel slurry from the juggernauts and virtually no visibility.
We made good time and were even loaded onto an early train at the Calais Eurotunnel.
Happy Days.
Until the hydraulics seized up due to extreme cold temperatures and they had to cancel the one we were on.
“All off, follow the car in front of you”
Now call me sceptical if you like, but I didn’t like the sound of that. There were about 100 cars in front of us, so we had about 100 chances of going the wrong way. 
Honestly, it was like something out of a Brits Abroad sketch. 
We lost the first 90 cars at the first set of traffic lights.
The remaining 10 of us went round a roundabout about 10 times before the car directly in front of Mum and me got pissed off, and took off down the Autres Directions route. She was a miserable looking Brit with a little dog in the boot; never did see her again. We did a couple more circuits, laughed till we cried, and then – against my better judgement – we, the remaining last gaspers, also followed down the Autres Directions Route. I KNEW it would take us off the Channel Tunnel complex, and it did. We were headed back to Brussels! 10 miles we went before we could turn around!! And by this time there were only 5 of us! It was like a blimming jeopardy game!! So one hour after we had been ejected from the train, we were trying to get back into the HOUSE !!! And the French at the entrance didn’t want to believe we had already been on a train in first gear with the handbrake on! This went on for another 20 minutes, and the little convoy of displaced Brits was getting intense. 
The French didn’t want to believe that we had been sent off with no marshal. Marshal ???? A martian with three heads and four tits would have been more useful than the French at the Eurotunnel today!!
Calm down Gray…..
So anyway, after 2 hours, a lot of arm flapping and plenty of gesticulating, we eventually managed to get on another train – a warm one – which had been sent over from England to get us. 
Quelle Shambles!
It’s nice to be home I can tell you. 
When we looked at the ticket, I couldn’t work out why it said 
Fr 12 Dec
“But it’s Tuesday, not Friday, Mum.”
we both looked at it, then at each other….
mmmmm…
Then Mum piped up 
“FRANCE, not FRIDAY!”
Maybe it was Friday. Maybe that was the ETA.
Maybe the poor cow with the little dog in the back will make it by then!
Love & Hugs,
Barb
xx

27 thoughts on “Eurotunnel. Relax, we’ll drive…you mad.

  1. Sounds like you're lucky to be home! You could still be going round the roundabout for all the help you got!
    Ah well cup of tea it is then snuggle into your own bed and sleep!
    Love and hugs! Xxxx

  2. Omg! Good job you have a sense of humour. Got stuck in the underpass coming out of Paris like that. Lost count of how many times we went round before we found our exit. Couldn't read the sign for the tears of laughter.

  3. The thought of travelling through that tunnel has never appealed to me. I think I would rather go on the ferry out in the fresh air. You really should do something about that book you keep promising us. You are such a good teller of what should have been horrendous travels, but you have the ability to make it amusing. Glad you are back home with all your goodies. xxx Maggie

  4. Heard on the news that there was a 6 hour delay for cars going through the tunnel from this end due to emergency maintenance. Glad you have made it safely home tonight & not stuck in Calais. I can just picture you all going round & round the island hoping someone knew where you were meant to be going.

  5. Well I am glad you are both home safe and well but oh boy did that story make me laugh. The visions in my head were hilarious – car after car going round and round that island, the miserable woman and her little dog and the disbelieving French rail official – Maggie is right – you should write a book it would be an instant bestseller. Xxx

  6. Barbara, you just have to write a book one day! You really have a wonderful way with words and a great knack for making people laugh. I loved this story, although at the time it wasn’t funny for you and your mum. Anyway, we are all glad that you got home safely eventually.
    Hope Dave had the kettle on and that you have a good rest tonight. Annette x

  7. Morning Barb,
    Well something funny had to happen on a trip away with your Mum! This has had me chuckling away this morning – I think Dave thinks I'm cracking up. Mind you, I bet it wasn't funny at the time. I'm with Maggie in that I would rather be on the ferry, I'm not very good in tunnels when I have to be in them a long time, I can just about cope with the Underground in London. Anyway, I'm pleased you're home safe and sound. Love and hugs Alison xxx

  8. Well….just when it looked as though you and your Mum were having an uneventful trip! I was going to say that it could only happen to you, but this time there were 100 of you! Thank you for your wonderful description as always. You really do have a gift for story telling….maybe one day you will get that book written. Sending love and hugs to you and your Mum xxx

  9. Hi Barbara
    Glad to hear you and Mum are home safe and sound. Oh my goodness what a journey, it’s a good thing you are used to driving on foreign soil and have a sense of humour! I hope you get a chance to chill out today and it’s not straight back to the grindstone.
    Love Diane xxx

  10. HILARIOUS READING BARB. You certainly can keep me reading your stuff. Your talents are endless. Glad you are home at last. It took my husband and I EIGHT HOURS to get from Plymouth to Norwich. What is this M32 I asked. Missed the M11 and ended up in Shaftesbury Avenue, London. Some Tunnel later, was it Dover, can't remember. We bought a Tom Tom after that. !!!!! X

  11. I thought about you when I saw the news about the snow in France and you hadn't posted when I went to bed. So glad you could both see the funny side it really made me laugh and all the more knowing you were home in one piece xx

  12. And all because the lady loves sauerkraut! Not quite the same as Milk Tray lol. Hope you enjoy all the Christmas supplies and that it was worth it to spend the time with your lovely mum. It wouldn't be the same without a funny tale x

  13. Well, rather an eventful journey Barbara, but glad you and Mum arrived home eventually safe and sound. I hope you manage a little recovery time before it's back to the work face. x

  14. Oh dear, how frustrating! Good job you and your mum gave a sense of humour! I seem to recall heading back to the ferry when we came back from France with you after taking a wrong exit off the roundabout! Although we’d have been quite happy if we could have had that break again with everyone! Wxx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *