Life‘s too short.
Thanks for popping in.
Today’s the bloggy day when we focus on food for the soul,
the stuff that makes us tick.
It’s very warm here in my little garden studio
under the roof of the garage,
so I won’t hang around too long!
I consider myself to be very fortunate that I can wander across the garden to my artroom / workplace.
If I choose to, I can even get in the car and drive to the office;
but mostly, if I have a thinking or creative job to do,
I’m better off here alone, in the trees.
That said, there’s air-conditioning at the unit!
You can’t win ‘em all, can ya ?!
All in all, I count my blessings.
And they are manyfold.
In fact, I count my blessings in the form of a gratitude list
every single morning.
With good reason.
Every now and then a negative niggle will creep in.
Usually in the middle of the night, when I can’t sleep.
or early early before the day rocks up.
What I’ve figured out is that I have to let the thought pass.
I musn’t tackle it and try to wrestle with it,
because it invariably wins,
and I’m left holding the ANGRY-ANXIOUS flag.
Let’s say that a person has, in my opinion, taken advantage of me.
Taken the piss, if you like.
Or perhaps simply not done what I wanted.
Now I can dwell on what he or she has or hasn’t done,
I can get myself all fired up, rightly or wrongly,
I can even run it by several people who I know will agree with me,
thereby further fanning the flames.
In short, I will keep going
until I have ignited
a heaving resentment against the offender.
Alternatively, I can let it go.
Let the thought pass.
Because that is all it is.
A negative niggle is nothing more than a thought,
albeit a nasty, menacing one.
If I buy into it, I set a negative train of thought (or thoughts)
in motion which will at best ruin my day,
worst case – eat me alive.
Do you know that we humans have
between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts a day?
So if we hone in on the first negative one of the day,
then the next 20,000-30,000 will probably all have a similar negative vibe!
No wonder we get up tired and everything seems to be black!
I think what I am trying to say here is that the battle which ensues in my head doesn’t affect anybody except me – or any poor soul who happens to cross my path while the war is on.
These phrases help me resist the mind game,
the self-inflicted head-battering :
“It’s not worth worrying about.”
“Life’s too short.”
“Let it go”
And only those who read this blog can truly understand the following tactic:
I switch off the negative thread
by making a piece of card-art in my head!
I pick a recipient
(in an ideal world it would probably be the crank who’s upset me to start with! But I ain’t that spiritually developed yet!)
I start with a blank white piece of card,
decide which stamp I want to use,
and it goes from there.
Within seconds I have changed the drift.
It really does.
There is no hidden message here! Nobody has upset me
(Nobody who would read my blog anyway!)
I am just aware how many of us waste so much of our precious lives dwelling on what others have or haven’t done.
Serves no purpose. Let it go.
Love and Peace of mind always.
96 thoughts on “Life‘s too short.”
Learning to let these things go over your head and down and off your back is difficult. I found myself in a situation at work and said to myself it is not worth it, just let it go. Which was made harder by another very immature person, trying to wind me and her boss up and make our difference of opinion into more than what it is.
Hi Barbara, I can totally relate to this. Earlier this week I was in a meeting about a magazine I edit voluntarily with a young helper and an experienced designer. Prior to the meeting there was an email from the designer which set a potentially negative tone for the meeting. Anyway in the three way phone meeting I used my experience of many many years in corporate life and all went relatively well. Afterwards my young colleague said you handled that really well I would of …, I just said life is too short and we just need to be positive and move forward. Your blog totally resonates with me. Thanks for your wise words. Have a lovely day and keep cool in this heat if you can. Big Hugs Marian Costello
I hope you're not too hot, it's sweltering here and just down the road are a bunch of mad men playing cricket and an even madder bunch watching them – there will be some very burnt people tonight I think! The blog made me smile, my sister phoned in tears on Monday, a so called friend had upset her and had made her angry, what should she do. I told her to ignor it, rise above it and they will get their comeuppance one day in the future. We had a laugh and all was well. It's so easy to dwell on things isn't it. I like your idea of making a card for someone, might try that but as you say, not for the person who upset you in the first place! Have a lovely crafty afternoon – I hope you've got a fan in your art room!
Love Diane xxx
Hello all my lovely blog friends, I hope you are all having some of this sunny weather but not the heat! I'm being lazy this afternoon and I'm going to read my book in the shade, I was cooking this morning (Oreo brownies! Yummy) so the kitchen is even warmer. The things we do for our children! I hope everyone is ok today. Sending hugs all round xxx
Yes the weather has been gorgeous here today. Dave and I had a run through to Leyburn a) so I could see where Tennants is and b) because it's a lovely little town. We had a lovely afternoon and then went up to Frosterley in Weardale to a lovely pub. Got back and now have a corned beef and potato pie in oven for tea, so our kitchen is much like yours! Hope you get some sleep tonight in the heat, love and hugs Alison xxx
Oooo Diane, I hope you saved some for the camp fire! They sound yummy. Xx
Hi Donna if you google them it's a Loraine pascal recipe but cook for longer than she says otherwise you eat them from the tin with a spoon!!! Xxx
They do sound gorgeous Diane. I hope you have a good day. xxx
When I lost my dear hubby to the big C everything in my life was negative then a lovely friend suggested I make some Christmas cards to pass the time which I did and found some inner peace at the same time. I also made some great new friends in the crafting community and also discovered the Clarity family and follow different blogs so now have many Facebook friends too. I can now focus on the happy times we shared and and remember with a smile…..staying positive xxxx
Hi Carol, isn't craft wonderful. I'm glad it's helped you in so many ways xxx
You are so right, Barbara, life is far too short to spend it on negatives. Let's find a positive to take its place and making a card, whether real or in your head, is a great way to get over it. You cannot be creative and negative at the same time, well I can't anyway. I love reading your Wednesday blog, always lots of food for thought. xxx Maggie
I totally 'get' what you're saying today Barbara but it can sometimes be so difficult to actually 'move on' but I do try and,thankfully, usually succeed. Happy to hear that no-one here has done anything to put you on this subject!
On a different track, pretty random, in fact… could you let me know the brand of tumble dryer sheets used for the Groovi project on the final retreat? I ask because after trying a few different brands I react with really itchy skin, didn't have this problem at the Retreat which was a big relief! I meant to ask but got carried away with the fab projects etc and totally forgot – just remembered today when I went to carry on with the gorgeous design.
Many thanks in advance of your (or any of the blog followers who know the answer) help. Xx
Tescos own xxx
Same for me too! Xx
Thanks Barbara and Donna….off to Tesco tomorrow!
How right you are Barbara! Once the thought worm gets working especially at night there is often no way to stop it until you give in a get up then you can't function because you're over tired and everyone suffers! And its amazing where thought worms take your mind! So it's good I have creative things to try and take my mind away from worrying about little things that seem insurmountable in the early hours!
Something else I've found works is reading….. Nothing highbrow or difficult…. Trashy easy reading with a good story line….just before I go to sleep….then I sleep soundly for at least 6 hours!!! And that's enough for me to feel rested and ready to start to new day!
Love and hugs to you. xxxx
Wise words………….. hard to put into practice – but we have to keep tryin', huh?
Those little voices come so discritly and if not careful
Can soon take over specially when your low tired etc. So it's good to be aware and quickly stamp them it and craft sure is a good away and are lovely craft family is very good at supporting each other phew isn't it hot today some love it not me so fan on trying to keep cool
Hope your day has been good lots love Joy xxx
A very thought provoking read, so very true too! Thank you for writing this it has helped put a lot of things into perspective! I love my crafting and creating is so therapeutic! I swear it should be on the NHS 😉
Enjoy your day!
You are so right Barbara. No matter how bad we feel our situation is, there is always lots of things to be grateful for. The clouds will always carry on floating by. Xx
that´s exactly what I do when I have a problem.
It´s really not often but when I´m confronted with something negative I create a card in mind.
And I have to say it helps in any case.
Why is it these gremlins are larger than life at night? Some nights are just too long! Very thought provoking words Barbara, thank you! Off to do some "colour bursting"! Xx
I was very surprised when I went to stamperama in stevenage on Sunday to see a stall selling groovi even the very latest plates I thought the only place we could buy them was from clarity they didn't get my custom I will but mine from the clarity website Barbara Cordell
Hi Barbara – I totally agree with all that you have said – and life really is just too short, to let it go to waste on negative thoughts. This has been well and truly brought home to me, both yesterday and today! Neill started his course of radiotherapy treatment yesterday, so it's 2 down and 35 to go! And yes, we are crossing them off the list as we go.
This means that I get to spend about an hour and a half in the waiting area, of the Sunrise Centre, our hospital's cancer treatment building, which was funded by the people of Cornwall. This makes you realise just how many people are affected by cancer – all ages, it doesn't discriminate! So it really is just best to focus on the good things in life and do your best to ignore the bad!
Funnily enough Barbara – I was thinking about it being your 'Mindful Wednesday' Blog whilst there today. Both Neill and I are approaching all of this in a very positive way – and feel much better now that 'the beast' is under attack from the Radiotherapy!
I do like your idea of creating a card – to deal with any negative thoughts – I will certainly give that a go – as, when, if it becomes necessary! Hugs Gilly x
Hi to all of my lovely blog friends – sorry that I have been missing for a couple of days, but I have been struggling with my CFS/ME – hence not being here. I hope that you are all as well as can be. Please forgive me for not commenting on any individual blog posts – but I am now needing to go to bed and rest, in readiness for tomorrow. Love and hugs to you all, Gilly xxx
I'm pleased that Neil has begun his radiotherapy and hope that everything goes well. It's lovely that you are both approaching a things positively. I do hope as well that you will feel better soon. You take care and i hope you manage to get a good night. Love and hugs to both of you, Alison xxx
Sorry to hear you are having to face the'beast' of cancer. My hubby has had to go through it twice but we emerged the other end smiling. Just hoping my son-in-law can win his own battle as well. I hope it all goes well for Neill will keep you in my thoughts. xx
Hi Gilyy, I missed you the last couple of days. I guess it's going to be full on for you and Neill for the next wee while. Manke sure you look after yourself. I left you a message on Sunday's blog – essentially I have good days and not so good days but I'll get there.
I hope those 35 sessions pass quickly. Sending hugs for you and Neill. Xx
Hi Gilly sending a hug for you and Neil, 35 will pass so quickly xxx
I'm so pleased Gilly, that Neil's RT has now started. You will be so surprised how quickly the days will be ticked off. Your A5 Groovi stuff will be just the job to pass those 1 and a 1/2 hours. I bet you'll get some converts too!! I used to stitch my cards during those times, so was able to keep up with my card making. Love and Hugs to you both..from Hubby too. xxx
I agree with everything that you've said and as Gilly said above, life is just too short to let things get on top of us. I did learn this after teaching for a few years when I used to get upset after having a bad day or if the blighters had been horrible! I found that music helped to calm me down – this was before I'd really discovered crafting. Then about 15 years ago now I was going through a Level 2 sign language course and our tutor firmly believed that we need to know if people were being rude to us ie swearing at us! So he taught us to swear proficiently in sign language!! I have to say this came in very handy because I could just turn away from people and do some signs and boy did I feel better! Now I can do as you do and turn to card making, Groovi or colouring and lose myself in that and be calm when I've finished – it should be on the NHS! Love and hugs Alison xxx
Hi bloggy friends,
Hope you've all had a good day or at least as good a day as possible. Morag I was really sorry to hear poor little Penny isn't too well, I do hope she pulls round soon. It is amazing how quickly they find a place in our hearts isn't it. Been a glorious day here today and as I said up on Diane's comment we had a run through to Leyburn this afternoon and had a lovely time. Tennants is really nice so looking forward even more to the Open Day – not long now! Sending you all lots of love and hugs Alison xx
Hi Alison, hope your chest is felling better today. Really warm here too, although we just had a short downpour. Bet you are counting the days till you get to go to the open day. Xx
Oh Alison that made me chuckle, what a useful talent to have! Xxx
Swearing in sign language, now that really is useful!!! Penny is still really poorly. She had an awful reaction to one of the meds, it was so distressing to watch. We phoned the vet's but were basically told that there was nothing really that could be done…we would just have to hope for the best!!! So a pretty stressful few days.
Spot on Barbara. 🙂
Hi John, hope the trip is going well. Xx
Hi Barbara, have you been digging around in my head?! I have more reason than most, for pretty much my whole life, to have all these negatives leading to anger, hurt, and sometimes resentment. Which like you say inevitably comes out to the wrong people, the people who do genuinely care and want to help. It's taken me many years to realise what you are saying about letting it go, letting it pass, and more so why I should, and I'm still struggling to find an effective way to do that. Retreating deep inside has been the only way so far. I'm going to try your technique of making a virtual piece of artwork aimed at the perpetrator, see if that works for me too. You never know, might get my arty head unleashed and then the negatives will truly become a positive, if I then replicate that art work for real. Thanks so much for sharing. Hope you're having a good day. Love Brenda xx
Hi Brenda, I think you are amazing. As you said you have many reason to become a negative voice in the world. You should be proud of yourself that you are a warm, caring, truthful soul and I am thankful to have found you. Sending hugs. Xx
What are you after Donna? (saying such good things about me)!!! 😉 Thank you, but I really don't deserve it. Hope you've been crafting lots xx
Yup, and helping Mum cut out more fabric shapes for her next project, bet you heard the whip cracking from there! 😉XX
I'm with you there Brenda dear, on having so many reasons my whole life to feel resentful and angry. But I am so lucky that I do not have your problems. In that, sometimes, I can make sense of the things that happened to me and my family. I think, with the specific problems you have you are remarkable. I totally agree with Donna in everything she says. Love and Hugs xxx
Brenda, Donna is quite right in what she says about you. I know you find it very hard to believe how incredible you are in the way you deal with such problems in your life. You should be very proud of your strength and determination. xxx Maggie
Thank you Morag and Maggie xx
I hope poor wee Penny pulls through.
I know a lot of people find taking compliments hard, but it's far more than that for me. It wouldn't be appropriate to explain here. Maybe if I say, compliments were very very rare in my life and they tended to have an alterior motive. So I learned to put up huge barriers to protect me from them, especially those that are about me, the person I am. My good support had been trying to help me with it. They said it's like a switch, someone starts to compliment me and I immediately go blank, and all shutters up, totally unreachable. And when they have reached through, I truly don't know what to do with the words, don't know how to process, what to feel, don't have a box to put them in in my head. I get scared
The first thing you need to craft in your head is a compliments box, covered in flowers and pretty things so you remember them as being good and nice. Start with a small box ad when that onre gets full, craft a bigger one. Xx
That's funny Donna!!! My head boxes are all dull nothing colour etc, like a boring library! I think there's more than enough stuff in my head without embellishing everything!!!! But now you've planted the thought, my 'Donna' box stands out a mile, multicoloured and covered in glittery all sorts of stuff 😉 Great, what have you done to me!!!! 😉 xx
As long as my box is glittery I'm happy 🌌😁
Brenda, I too agree with everything that Donna has said. Years ago I did a group course, where you had to leave anything negative at the door, which I found really hard. The instructor made us have a virtual rubbish bin, and we wrote down all the bad things on an imaginary note or notes, and screwed it up and threw it away. It took a bit of practice, but I still do it now, and it does work for me. X
Wise words, very hard to do sometimes but I do like to try to give people at least a chance if they are being upsetting. Sometimes they are just having a bad day and pass it on. Pleased no-one has actually upset you and I hope you found a cooler spot quickly. xx
Thank you for the wise and true words. I was in that place most of the weekend. What a waste of energy. I wanted it sorted! Again waste of breath. Your blog has made me take stock and think of beautiful things to create. You are truly an inspiration.
Much love to you and all the bloggers out there. Peace is a lovely word.
Hi Anne, how 'handy' are you feeling? Better than last week I hope. Xx
I think you're perfectly spiritually developed! Xxx
Right my girl…..I've been saving this to remind you of a good day.
Sunday 19 June 2016 excerpt from Barb's blog:
"So many good people in my life.
I’m a very lucky girl.
Now Grace is Facetiming me!!
Nice to be loved"
I love you too. Maggie (Yorkite)
(Do you know it's much easier to love than hate).
Have a nice day!
Wise words Barb and yes those niggles in the night need to be put on a list and dealt with in the morning. Nightime makes everything seem out of context. Keep cool xx
So very true, I've often had a full blown barny in my head, whose up set? Yep just me, so I shall endeavour to follow your lead x
Such good advice. I will try harder. Stuck in negativity at moment.
Excellent blog wow that is lots of thoughts. I am going yo try to focus on the positive ones too. You are a gift. Xxx
I know excitley what you mean Barbara, I spend nearly all of my waking time wondering that what I said was taken the wrong way by people as I hate to upset anyone and I'm the sort of person who reads people's faces.
Saying all that it was a great blog. X
Oh what coincidence that you right about this. With everything that is going on in my life just now why did he take the car without a word when I was just about to go out to pilates – it doesn't matter, one missed class won't make a difference. Why did he cut down the clematis – it's just a plant, nothing to get upset about. I have been training myself to not sweat the small stuff but I have never considered crafting in my head. I think I'll find that idea really helpful.
Craft it in your head and then make it, good way to build up a stash that you can start selling. Sending hugs. Xx
Oh Barbara how much this blog means to me especially today the twist and turns of life ,how special are the crafting family of blog friends who come here thank you for mindless Wednesday.
Thank you for blogging each day xxx
Evening dear family of blog friends sending heartfelt hugs thinking of you all .
Apologies for not commenting of all of you tonight my GP surgery rang tonight my liver bloods have risen again from yesterday blood samples so now I'm looking at a urgent appointment with a liver specialist and a urgent liver scan my thyroid is now out so tablets to go up I'm just battling too many medical problems now, think my body is giving up as well as my mind .what a difference a day makes I'm going to sleep now goodnight all xxx
I'm so sorry that things are not going so well at the moment. Try to stay positive and don't give up. I'm sure I speak for all your friends here by saying that we are all thinking of you and wishing you well. Stay strong, love and very special caring hugs Alison xxx
Hang in there Sheila. Keep as strong as you can and battle this. Do whatever you can that's within your control to help your body. Think positive thoughts, and focus on those. Craft, when you can. Have quality happy time with your family and friends as much as is possible. Do your daily gratitude list, like Barbara says. Sending you positive psychic energy xx
Oh dear Sheila, I'm sorry to hear things aren't so good at the moment. I'm thinking positive thoughts for you.
Ahh Sheila and friends. So glad to see you here every evening. If you're here, then you're present and counted! And that's a good thing! Xx
Sheila, you are in my thoughts. Keep up the fight and I'm sure the Drs will get your medication managed for you. Sending hugs to you and Tom. Xx
Sending you a big hug Sheila, don't forget this too shall pass, the doctors will sort it soon. Xxx
Oh Sheila my dear, I'm so sorry to hear this. Stay strong and look out for all the positivity, love and caring coming your way from all of your friends here. Thinking of you with love. Sending lots of gentle hugs xxx
So sorry to read this, Sheila. Thinking of you and wishing you well. x
So sorry to hear your news Sheila – you are always so kind and thoughtful to everyone on here, and don't deserve so many health issues. Hope you get your appointments soon,and that your liver specialist is a lovely as my next door neighbour who happens to be a liver doctor herself (although at the moment she is a new mum to baby Struan who is a happy little soul with a gummy smile for everyone!) x
it's a good thing we are only aware of a tinsy fraction of those thoughts! i know exactly what you mean as i do it all the time too. only i have to keep it to myself while carrying on with my job! hugs xx
So true. I have an 87 years old friend who is so inspirational. She has had some hard knocks in her life, especially during the last 7/8 years. But her philosophy is 'if you can't change things you have to learn to live with them. Do not waste energy trying to change things you can do nothing about, put it to one side and move on'. She is a lovely lady and I love her to bits.
Great post today, I always try and stay positive and my craft is a huge part of that. Music on, singing along, crafting, what could be better. Xx
Hi bloggy friends, hope you are all well. Sending love and hugs to all. Xx
Hello Donna. I hope you're having a good day, and making the most of the rest of your holidays. Love to you and Phoebe. xx
Hi Morag, left you a message down below. Xx
How very profound and very wise words -I have had things said to me which I don't agree with and have had such a lengthy two way conversation in my head totally blowing things out of proportion and imagining things which haven't even been said!!!
Hello Barb, I think that is why your blog, is the first one I read every morning (I normally only read it late if I am up working), it is inspiring on every level, not just art, but wise observations of life. Thank you for this one in particular, I think it has just set me up for the day ahead. Take care. Bx
Love the words love you too xxxxx
Love June horrocks xxxxx
Hello all, what a great blog. I have to practice what I preach to Mum as she is a great one for saying "negative" things to me and I keep saying to her its not YOU it is them. If people can not take you for how you are now it is not your fault. Since Mums stroke it has been difficult for her as she feels she is letting people down. And in amoungst all of this she is not getting better.
This too shall pass is great term…. keep positive, craft and love what you can do – not what you can not.
Love to you all x x
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Your mindful Wednesdays always seem to be so pertinent for me Barbara. I am full of resentment lately, but it's mainly at myself. I have so much negative stuff going on in my life which in the main I try to cope with positively. But then, as always, I go and agree to do something to help a neighbour. But now it's taken for granted that I'll be there more often and for longer periods each time. I also feel resentment to the person who asked me as she is fully aware of my situation, but mainly blame myself. Every year my resolution is 'learn to say no'…but I've never quite got the hang of it!! It is so difficult as I feel very sorry for the person involved. But I really do feel that I'm stuck. Hubby says that tomorrow I have to say that we're going out, so that I can't go in!!! So between the devil and the deep blue sea…. I suppose I could get a card using that theme but I haven't got anyone that I dislike enough to send it to!!
Sorry Barbara, I find I often get carried away on your mindful Wednesdays!!! I'm sure there'll be a solution here somewhere. Hugs xxx
Hi Morag, your hubby is right on this occasion. You need to think of yourself too. One day wont hurt. Has your neighbour got family? xxx
Hi Jackie, yes they do but they're always 'too busy'!! This is where most of the resentment stems from. I don't mind doing it for her to go shopping, but she's now decided to increase her hours at work and has taken for granted that I'll look after things. My hubby is going mad!!! xx
Hi Morag, I am tge same, you don't mind doing your bit but when it becomes expected or assumed it feels different. Saying no is really hard but it sounds like you need to. How is your puppy getting on? Xx
Hi Donna. I know that hubby, Jackie and yourself are right, but as you say it's so difficult.
Poor little Penny is still really poorly. She just paces around and around. I have to wrap her tight in a blanket and cuddle her in to 'force' her to rest. She has been so disorientated it is pitiful to see. I'm convinced though that there's a little improvement each day. Thank you for asking Donna. xxx
Arrr Morag, Penny sounds like she is in the best place, at home with you giving her lots of hugs. Its so hard isn't it because you cant tell them it will be OK, and they can't tell you how they are feeling. Thinking of you, give Penny a hug from me. XX
Life is definitely too short and these are definitely the right things to say ! My other one is don't worry about it until there is something to worry about. However, I need to tell myself that 🙂
“It’s not worth worrying about.”
“Life’s too short.”
“Let it go”
Hmmmmm have said all of these a one time or another! Xx
Sometimes we just have to say 'Oh well, that's there problem, not mine' and let it go. I think now I am older I find it much easier to say to myself that there are people in this world that are totally negative about things, definitely not the half full variety anyway, and whatever you do there will be someone who will want to pick holes in it just because they can. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't look at ourselves so that it isn't 'the pot calling the kettle black' as the saying goes. x
Hi Barbara, Great idea, but sometimes it is 'easier said than done' haha, but I am going to try it, I am a person who dwells on stuff and goes over and over it in my head and the 'thing' ends up as a massive thing. So I'm going to try and 'let it go'.
Lots of love from Patricia xx
Wise words Barbara – I try not to stress about little things, but sometimes when you're tired it's really hard. I keep thinking of those Olympic athletes who kept saying in interviews that they just had to focus on the task in hand in order to succeed and win gold x