Travel Gently

Travel Gently

Hi there

Thanks for popping in.

It’s been a day for sorting through old photos and memories with our Grace. It was an emotional rollercoaster for sure. We smiled, laughed, wept, hugged each other, and then kept going.

We were compiling a photo tribute for Dad’s funeral, which will be set to Billie Holiday’s “‘I’ll be seeing you”. We’d been procrastinating, because we knew it wouldn’t be easy. Was it pleasant looking back? Double-edged sword really. On the one hand, we had such an amazing life with Dad (and Mum of course), and yes, we are so lucky. But on the other hand, it’s over, and he’s gone. On the one hand, poor old Dad doesn’t have to have any more bad days; on the other hand, he doesn’t get to have any more good ones either. We can go round and round in circles, until acceptance kicks in.

Like Mum keeps saying, “It will never be what it was; it is what it is now”.

So in all honestly, perhaps down the road a ways, I will look back in fondness and savour the good memories, enjoy the old photos. But at the moment I am just so so sad that I will never ever be able to BE with him again. Listen to his stories, ask his advice, hold his hand. And I am absolutely certainly you get me.

Quote of the Day #23

Travel Gently.

The uplifting news is that lots of friends and family are coming from all over the place to celebrate his life next Monday morning. Every RSVP lifts my spirits; it confirms he was loved and respected by many. Old friends, work colleagues, golfing buddies – yes. He was so popular. There is comfort in that, isn’t there.

Time to watch something trivial on telly, to switch off. Any recommendations? let us know! I don’t do violence or thriller psycho-shit. In fact, at the moment Emily in Paris is just about ok. The Bank of Dave is pretty good if you haven’t seen it, and Ted Lasso is superb. Have already watched it twice – all the series!

Love always,

Barb x x x

47 thoughts on “Travel Gently

  1. Hi Barb, your blog has made me cry – not for the first time either. I totally feel your pain and my only advice would be … embrace it as a symbol of love and feel blessed to have had that in your life.
    For an easy watch, try My Octopus Friend on Netflix.
    Sending you and your family lots of love again this difficult time xx

  2. I get you Barbara. We say goodbye to my baby sister tomorrow at a church service and on Wednesday at the Crematorium. I am beyond sad, feel unable to take away the pain my mum is feeling and drift aimlessly trying to be everything for her husband, my other sister and my brother.
    I understand. Truly xxx

    1. Hazel, I understand how you are feeling. As you know, I have been there (and still am – you never lose that sense of loss, just learning how to cope), but try to support each other in the family. One person cannot, and should not try, to deal with the pain for everyone else. It is not possible. Being together and not being afraid to talk about how you all feel is very important, and that will ensure your beloved sister will always be with you. I am thinking of you at this time and sending you lots of love and hugs. xxx

  3. my thoughts are with you, it is hard, there will be good days and bad days, but it does get easier, travel gently. love tiy and the family x

  4. Nothing to add really, I do believe you’ll be with him again just differently and he’ll always be with you.

    If you want a smile we’ve been catching up with Junior Bake Off – messy little devils, bit like me crafting xx

  5. Bless you. For a time, the good will be overshadowed by the memories of recent days but the light will break through. Hang on to that, Barb, no matter how long it takes. It will take as long as it takes. Sending love and hugs. Hxx

  6. Barbara that is a lovely pic of you and your Dad and we can see whose daughter you are. There will be good days and bad but he will always be with you. Xx

  7. Wonderful photo, Barbara.
    As our dear Queen Elizabeth once said, ‘Grief is the price we pay for love’ – physical and emotional pain. And, as another very wise woman said, ‘this too shall pass’ – sending you all warm clouds of comfort and support x
    Debbie Lee

  8. A lovely photograph of you both, in time you will be able to look back on them all without feeling so sad. Its lovely that you have so many memories to reflect on & will be able to celebrate your dad’s life with all his family & friends next week. So now follow your mom’s words & travel gently forward over the next few days – One day at a time xx

  9. The circle of grief is different for us all. Many of us have been there, just take it day by day. And keep to the front of your mind a pleasant memory……he was loved, he will be missed, but we have good memories. Hugs to you and your mum Barbara xx

  10. Hi Barbara
    Just showed the photo to Jackie she said well no mistaking who you look like 🤣.
    I have a photo of me and Mum in the garden on the bench next to the bed and Jackie has both her parents on her side. They are always in our thoughts and will remain there forever as will your dad.
    Travel gently
    Love Ruth and Jackie xx

  11. Feeling your pain Barbara and again I’m crying with you.
    Your Dad will always be at your side you may not be able to see him or touch him but he will be there.
    Lovely photo of you and your Dad. Sending more love your way.xx

  12. I feel you, Barb. I really do. Today is Mom’s birthday, and I’m feeling Dad’s loss for her and all of us. Yet, he’s with us still, almost 9 years on, as your Dad is with you.
    Love and hugs xoxo

  13. You are so like your dad and hope your mom is coping from death to funeral seem a long time God Bless you and your family xx🌹🌹🌹🌹

  14. What a lovely photo, it says everything about the love of a father and daughter. I’ve got a photo of my late Dad, smiling and I can now look at it and remember all the good times, even 23 years on, just special. Love to you all. X

  15. Aw- the photo tributes are such a good idea. I sorted my dad’s photos out for his funeral and we had ‘See you in my dreams’ by Jimmy Durante. Everyone said what an uplifting moment it was seeing his life in pictures. Definitely travel gently through these days x

  16. Lovely photo of you and your Dad.
    I get you Barbara and though right now you will find it hard to believe it , it WILL get easier! Your Dad will always be with you – in your heart.
    Thinking of you and your family, especially your Mum. Big Hug xxx

  17. Sending love. If you liked The Bank of Dave (we did) you could try The Duke or Phantom of the Open (though that is about golf so maybe later on. Take care and although sad you have wonderful memories of your dad xxx

  18. You are all very much in our thoughts and prayers.
    If you haven’t seen it, try and find ‘The Detectorists’. There are three series of gentle comedy. We really enjoyed them.
    Atm we are watching the great pottery throw down and repair shop.
    Be gentle with yourself. Allow time for grief.

  19. Beautiful photograph and one to cherish. I only have one small photograph of my Dad, thankfully it does show the twinkle in his eyes. When I look at it I know he is with me..
    The next days may be hard but take comfort with your family and friends, travel gently and try watching some Attenborough or Bahama Blue.
    Thinking good thoughts for you.

  20. Beautiful photograph Barb. These are difficult days and the moods swing between laughter in remembrance and desperate sadness with endless tears. The healing can’t begin until after Monday but you will get through it. One day at a time. Remember you were so lucky to have your dad for so long. Sending love to you and all your family.

  21. Grief is a different journey for everyone and you will find your path. The love you had for your dad, and his for you will always be there x

  22. Your mum sounds amazing, so strong. I’m so glad you have Grace with you & I’m sure she is glad to have you. The photo of you and your dad is lovely. Hopefully in time the good thoughts will outnumber the regrets. Love & gentle thoughts xx

  23. Sending hugs to all of you Barb. Such a lovely photo of you and your Dad. It is hard to lose a parent, so travel gently and take the time to cherish memories. Take care and stay warm everyone. Bx

  24. Believe it or not Monday will bring some kind of closure enabling you to move on. It is a strange time though as you don’t even have the planning of the funeral to arrange. My thoughts are with you all xx

  25. Always look on the bright side – that is how we ended Geoff’s funeral (the expression on the faces of my sisters-in-law was a treat). You have so many beautiful memories of your lovely Dad. Cling to those and share them with your Mum and the rest of the family. Keep talking about him and he will always be with you. I still talk to Geoff and I do feel that he is there, listening to me. I am thinking of you and sending lots of love and hugs. Maggie Craner (Silvercrafter) xxx

  26. I too have a tear in my eyes reading this x
    Cherish the good times as I’m sure you will. My Dad has been gone seven years and I still miss him daily.
    Take care Barbara xx

  27. I read the newsletter in my Clarity club pack and saw that you had lost your Dad. I am crying for you and for myself, having lost my dear Dad last year. I was so pleased to read that you and your brother had the lovely, precious time with him at the end. My heart goes out to you, it is easy to say that things will get better, but I hope you are able to think of all those wonderful times , the glue that will start to mend the broken bits in your heart. He will always be with you. xxxx

  28. my heart goes out to you and all your family. Counting all the years of being that family will sustain you even though it can’t take away how you feel right now. I count my good fortune in having my mum for 49 precious years when she loved & advised me through my marriage & bringing up my children. My dad, also my wise & bestist mate I lost when I was 67years old after caring for him for 17 years…a privilege! So many years to look back on, relive & reminisce. sometimes painful, sometimes with the glee of the happy or comical event. It doesn’t happen right away Babara but it will come & you realise just how much you & your family were loved over the years & how much they enjoyed all those times making their life just perfect before travelling off over the rainbow bridge. There they wait happily to continue the journey when you’ll all be together again. It’s all just a matter of time. As you recall all your precious memories remember they were shared with your dad & your happiness was his goal for you. Take joy from that & travel gently at the start and gradually you’ll manage to overcome the pain & enjoy the happy! I hope you can feel my love & hugs & all those sent from those who love you for all the love you radiate out to us. 🤗❤🙏🌈

  29. Beautiful photo. I read your blog with a heavy heart I still miss my wonderful Dad so much. But the memories are amazing.
    I’m with you on the easy TV.
    I love Emily in Paris. Also Jane the Virgin is a light hearted watch.
    Sending a big hug and wishes that all goes well on Monday.

    I’m always thank full for and believe this…
    “My Memories I treasure they live in my heart. No one can steal them because of me their apart”
    I visit them often and share them a lot 😘

  30. lovely photo of you both, like father, like daughter. All I can say is be forever thankful, no more suffering and you had your dad right to the end, knowing you were there and who you were. Memories live longer than dreams. Hope your Mum is getting by. Xx

  31. I wish you all the strength you need. It is hard, I know.
    Yesterday my wife died, she was the love of my life. We shared nine beautiful years together, but she was only 60 years old. I have never felt so sad before.
    I am looking forward to your blog and quote every day, they have been a life saver these last weeks and will be for the weeks to come.
    Thank you Barbara 😘

      1. Thank you Barbara,
        It is very sad but you know because you just lost your dad.
        But thank you so much for you and Clarity.
        At the moment I only read your blog, no crafting.
        But every evening when there is time the first thing I do is read your blog 😘

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