#5 Fake it to make it

#5 Fake it to make it

Hi there

Thanks for popping in. Do you ever struggle to stay upbeat and positive? I do. Don’t you just wake up some days, think of what’s going on, and just want to roll over, pull the covers over your head and tell them all to go do one? Problem with that solution is that it serves very little purpose. In fact, all it does – apart from letting you lie in bed alone, grinding your teeth (don’t mention teeth to me!) and getting your teeth into people (stop it with the teeth !) who can’t even defend themselves – is put off the day’s reality. It’s all still piling up outside your bedroom door, waiting for you, and the irritants are doing press ups in the back garden – waiting for you.

But. Sometimes there’s just so much going on, so much to deal with, so many people getting on your pip, it just robs you of your sense of humour!! Thing is though, THIS TOO SHALL PASS, believe me !!! Which brings me to our daily quote. Quote #5:

Fake it to make it

It’s a well known coping mechanism, and it works for me. When things are getting me down, I have a choice. I can feed the fire, as it were, or I can starve it; I can pretend everything is fine. Fake it.

Now you may think that’s not being true to yourself, that’s not allowing you to be you, that it’s okay to not be okay, and you’re probably right. But – and I can only speak for myself – I find my days are far more pleasant when I pretend to be ok, and not – as Farmer Dave puts it – turn into a Muck spreader of doom and gloom! After a while (it doesn’t take long at all) I find my spirits lifted and I’m feeling better. Actually, it works when I’m alone or in a crowded room.

Example. Most mornings nowadays I wake up sad. I haven’t slept well. That’s the truth. I lie awake in the dark. My Dad is weighing heavily on my mind. Then everything else comes crowding in: work, people, the future, the NHS, the state of the nation – nay, the world! Alarm goes off. Now comes the choicepoint. Let’s consider 2 scenarios.

I can share the load, tell Dave what a rotten night I’ve had, and how I’m worried about Dad, that I’m feeling really low, because everything is going wrong. Boom. It’s not even 6am and I’ve already set the scene for the day.

Or I can smile, and say “Good Morning Dave. Did you sleep well?”. He will usually say, “Not bad, thanks. Until about 5. And you?” and I will reply “same”. He then says, “Right. Let me go put the kettle on, and let’s have some tea.” You see, we are both playing Fake it to Make it. And it works, it really does. I know full well Dave has been lying in the dark next to me wide awake, worrying about all the things that need doing at work; and he knows that I am sad. But we fake it to make it.

Is that being false? I would prefer to call it considerate. Or easier. Or lighter. Guess what? It doesn’t take long before the clouds pass, and my better mood is not fake at all. All I have done, quite simply, is redirect my thinking, avoid the pity pot, and pretend things are okay. Until they are.

I’ve done it most days for as long as I can remember – it has served me well. Try it some time.

We’ve got a sticker booklet packed with quotes . I compiled it during lockdown. Here’s a little challenge to those of you who already have the little book. Is Fake it to Make it included? I can’t say from here. I bet it is though…


These are little projects I made for the ClarityStamp Club a while ago. It was a really cool grunge scene builder stamp CLICK HERE.

If fact, there are a few grunge backdrops and build a tree-scene issues you might enjoy. CLICK HERE

That’ll do for today. I’m glad you’re glad about the daily blog again. And I read and appreciate your comments too. Every one.

Love always,

Barb x x x

44 thoughts on “#5 Fake it to make it

  1. Works for me too Barbara. And even when things aren’t good put a smile on your face before you answer the phone. Works wonders . Hugs to you xx

  2. Hi Barbara
    Early blog from me today usually last thing at night. But am just listening to Simon and Garfunkel reading Richard Osman so decided to comment. I agree with faking it and it does eventually turn into positivity. Although those closest to us really do know we are not alright but that’s ok as well. Really enjoying the daily quotes thank you for taking the time.
    Love Ruth & Jackie xx

  3. Everyone has those feelings and I think we all fake it for the sake of those around us and eventually your mind and body catch up with the mood and you do feel glad xx Knowing others are there helps and the SHAC for me has been a lifesaver xx thank you for putting the smile on my face xx

  4. I hate the mornings too, Barb – all those intrusive thoughts bombarding me as soon as I awake – on with the telly and repeats of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ – my distraction technique! ‘Fake it to make it’ is my mantra too! Take care xxx

  5. Sending hugs. Sometimes pretending at first then becomes reality. A positive attitude breeds positivity. Take care! X

  6. I had to smile when I read about your morning routine because it is virtually word for word how my morning starts. Is this the British stiff upper lip?

  7. I fully understand where you are coming from, it is often much easier to say ”I am fine thanks” when anyone asks how you are especially on the phone when in reality you are feeling rubbish. Putting a smile on your face does make you feel better as you often receive a smile back from others so a much better feeling all round.
    I really need to dig my club stamps out & give these scenes a go, no excuse really as I have all day everyday to play but I always seem to get to the end of the day with very little or no crafting done !! NYR more crafting
    In answer to your question about the stickers – yes it is there x

  8. So sorry about your dad. From the way you’ve talked about him I can tell you’re really close. It’s sad when we have to face losing our parents. I love reading your blogs your sense of humour shines through and your advice is spot on. Thank you for all your and your teams efforts. Best Co. I’ve ever dealt with. Keep smiling and stay safe. Hope puss cat is better. I have a ginger cat and love him to
    Bits. Xx

  9. It works for me too, Barbara. The mind can be a wonderful thing but can also be our greatest enemy. You just have to decide which. x

  10. Understand completely. I try to ignore the things over which I have no control and concentrate on those I can. It helps.
    As I get older I find sleep can be elusive and early mornings more difficult. I hate being woken by an alarm (fortunately not very often now we are retired) and I can be a right grump if suddenly jolted awake. This I cannot fake. OH wakes up with a bounce but has learned that I need to wake slowly and have a cup of coffee and breakfast before I become human again. Then the smiles start, the worries lessen, positivity kicks in and life goes on its merry way.
    My A3 parchment arrived at lunchtime so now I can start a big project I have been planning for some time. Happy me!!!
    Just checked the result of the Gnome Hunt. I did not find all 24 but with the letters I found managed to guess Twas the night.
    Take care, stay safe.

  11. Loved your blog today. It is all about perspective and a great way to start the day with a positive perspective. Thank you.

  12. Thank you Barbara for restarting the daily blog as didn’t realise that I missed it so much till it wasn’t there! I love reading your thoughts and everybody’s responses. A good start to my day xx

  13. What you’ve said today is so true. Love those club background stamps they are so useful. I really do hope that things start to look better for you soon xxxx

  14. You’ve made me feel better already Barb. I started my day feeling very sad (it’s the 13th Anniversary of my Mum passing). I put the tv on and watched the craftalong of the 2 little dogs on the advent plate again. Then, as I haven’t been out for a walk for weeks, I took my neighbours dog for a walk. I’ve decided I’m not going to watch the news for a few days, it just grinds you down. Big hugs to your Dad and all the rest of your family. Thank you for the quotes, they really do make a difference

  15. Hi Barb hope the teeth are a little better today. Good saying and it works. Sad we need it but good if we can do it – for those around us at least ! xx

  16. Good advice Barbara. I find as I get older folk I’ve known for years get more gloomy in outlook. I can do without that , life’s not always been kind to me either, so I just remind them to be forever thankful ,and change the subject. Thinking of you . Xx

  17. You’re a tonic Barbara! I love your blog and have read it everyday since the beginning. I often go back and dip randomly into past musings. So often you echo what others are thinking. Thank you for always being there for us. xx

  18. Received my parchment order today- and Pete had done exactly what he said he would do! The Teal is a beautiful colour and cheered my morning up. Thank you Clarity!

  19. Hiya Barbara.
    Fake it to make it works every time for me. And there are days when I feel like I could just turn over and stay in bed. But I make myself get up and get going. If I need to I paint a smile on my face and if anyone asks how I am I always answer “I’m fine”. And then I am.
    But we should be remember that it is ok to not be ok. You just have to know who you can tell that to!
    January is always a hard month. It’s cold dark and wet! But it will soon be spring! Watch out for little signs!
    Anyway you hang in there faking it as much as you need.
    Love and hugs as always. Xxxxxxx

  20. Thank you for the daily blogs Barbara.
    They help me cope with life, they help me focus on the important things and they give me inspiration to do some crafting. Two of my loved ones are in the final stage of their lives, sometimes I need to load my battery again and Clarity always helps me with that 😘.
    Ant this too will pass!

  21. Positive thinking always helps I find – I’ve often said that you can’t change what happens, only how you respond to it. Glass half full or half empty – still the same glass but different perspectives. Am keeping you and all the family in my prayers, Barbara xx
    PS I love all these little background stamps in the craft club – so very useful and versatile!

  22. Thank you for your blog, it really helps boost my mood. I do feel for you and understand your problem of lying awake at night. I will remember you in my prayers and your family. Stay strong, they need you. Bless you for your words of wisdom and care. I’m not an artist really but love Groovi and watch you and Paul always. You cheer me up and I realise I don’t need to be an expert, just ride on your bus journeys. Much love to you. I hope and pray things improve for you.

  23. Fake it to make it- -it takes real strength to do this successfully as it’s so much easier to give in to the sadness and pressures of life. Routine used to push me to get up and deal with stuff now I’m retired I have to work hard to tackle the day. I think that’s why the Shac shack helped so many of us, A regular time to get upland ready for- I’ll never forget those days- so grateful Barbara.

    I feel for you Barbara spinning all your plates and Dave of course but you are a good team and together you manage to fake it to make it very well.

    Always here if you need to offload! We shackers laugh with you when you happy and entertaining and get sad with you too!

    Take care dear Barbara!

  24. Barbara, thank you, your blog and SHAC are so important to many people and a safe place. Every day I remember to feel grateful that I’ve woken up, say Good Morning to my beloved Tom’s photo smiling as I always did so he saw a happy face not the one that might be worried about what challenges dementia would bring us that day and get on with it. Compartmentalising things helps and if I do cry I give it a moment, blow my nose and get on with it. Voluntary work with those in difficulty and Memory Box Cafe with those living with dementia and their carers gives me a reason to get on with it and is enjoyable so no faking there. Being close to those we love can bring sadness as well as joy but all so worthwhile to share their lives and remember them with love.

  25. Oh boy, how I related to this, as it is exactly what I do. I could so easily have pulled the duvet over my head this morning, but I dragged myself up, bath, make up and hair done and got on with the day. It turned out to be ok too. Thank you so much for sharing this, as it made me feel so much better to know it is not just me. By that I don’t mean that I am glad it is you too, but you know what I mean! XX

  26. A good quite and one we all do from time to time some of us (me) a lot. How are you today ?Oh I’m fine when really I want to crawl back into bed. So you put a smile on your face and fake it and in no time at all the smile becomes a big grin. If that doesn’t work then I grab a pencil and start doodling or colouring. ❤

  27. Late to the party as usual, lol. I had an older friend who lived for 40 years with th knowledge her daughter could literally die at any time due to heart problems. When I asked her once how she coped with that knowledge she replied “If it is something you can do nothing about, you just have to go with it and make the best of it. wallowing in self-pity helps no-one.”
    Think about it, this is so true.

  28. I’ve just read yesterday’s blog and feel for you, so much going on. I remember when we had our own business, with no staff, but lovely loyal clients and going into our Salon facing a damaged window and roof due to another huge articulated lorry not negotiating the mini roundabout successfully! It happened too many times resulting in us campaigning to get lorries rerouted with partial success. Then a Mum in a secure unit in hospital and a Dad away in London with heart op it just seemed impossible but we coped like you, put on the face mask and tackled what we could and got through it. Now retired for nine years, looking back we often say how did we do it. Sadly I lost both parents in their early seventies and am determined to reach well into my eighties. Hope to visit Dorset to see the family and Grandchildren this year not been since 2019 so having something on the horizon to look forward to helps. Thank you for your blog its great to read and the step by step projects are brilliant to get us all going again. Hope your teeth are easing up, mine are clenched most of the time!

  29. Hello Barb, such a great blog post to go with this quote, and I have to agree with what you say. It is just that is what you sometimes need to show the world, not the turmoil inside. Love those background stamps, use them quite often. Keeping your Dad and all those that are ill in my prayers. Take care and stay warm everyone. Bx

  30. Thankyou Barb, that’s the only way it works for me too.
    Yesterday has gone, and tomorrow isn’t here, so today is the only one we need to deal with – so we take a deep breath and step into the day, grateful for the blessing of those who are always in our corner – no matter what.
    Love – and prayers for your lovely Dad
    Rosemary xx

  31. Think we all fake it at times. I do, usually say I am fine , can’t off load all my problems onto someone else. They probably have a shed load themselves. My youngest daughter is expert at faking it so many troubles to deal with at the moment. xx

  32. My nan always used to recite a poem she learnt at school – “a trouble’s a ton, a trouble’s an ounce, a trouble is what you make it”. I try really hard to live by this and stay positive, and positive people live longer apparently too!
    Sending a gentle hug to you and your dad – it’s so hard to see them getting older and frailer, but how lucky are we to have had them for so long? xxx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *