Thanks for popping in. Been doing a little bit of stretching here. Stretching my brain. Using my loaf more. Why? Well, waves of some kind of bleakness keep rolling in, and I thought it best to address it, change the flow.
It’s not boredom. I don’t do bored. It runs deeper than that. It’s a kind of ennui. (Dictionary definition of ennui: a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.)
Sitting in our warm, period cottage home, with an art studio AND a pottery studio in the garden, with a loving husband, both healthy and well, enough food in the cupboard to feed a small army, both parents safe and well, and a banging little craft business that is pretty stable, one could definitely say that I should be very very grateful! Absolutely. And I really am!! But you can’t help the thoughts that come into your head, can you. So before this ennui takes hold, I want to change it.
Perhaps it’s also a case of having plenty of energy to DO things, but losing the reason WHY I am doing them. Perhaps it’s the repetitive routine, without the usual diversion, change of scenery or stimulus, which turns an otherwise productive day into more of a daily grind. Like the old song says, What’s it all about Alfie…
So I escaped to my little pottery cave yesterday afternoon, to clear the head and STRETCH. Decided to go large, and doubled the amount of clay I usually throw with! I’m getting quite good at throwing little pots and bowls, but when my mad head asked me, “how many little pots and bowls does the world need”, I decided to throw a BIG one at it.
Do you get me? I KNOW I’m not alone. The longer the Covid Restrictions are in place, the more challenging I am finding it. You too?
So I decided to throw a vase, a tall slim vase. Try as I might, I couldn’t get the height. Battled with this lump of clay for ages, I did, but couldn’t get it to do my bidding. So finally accepted that it wanted to be a flower pot…albeit a quite big flower pot.
Today, when I’ve finished all my work, I shall have another run at a vase. And I shall keep trying until I succeed – every day. I need some new flower pots – the frost and ice cracked a few which I’d forgotten to empty of rainwater or take indoors!
Only 3 things – time, patience and practice – stand between myself and a beautiful, tall, slim vase. And hopefully, this quest, this challenge I have set myself, to pull a vase a foot tall, will cure my ennui. It certainly worked yesterday. I didn’t achieve what I set out to, but I learned a lot. And I caught my mind wandering in the evening too, mulling over possible solutions and ways forward.
I think that’s the solution for me, to realign my healthy thinking: stretch myself. Set myself a tall challenge.
Watch this space…
Love and hugs