Money can’t buy you Love.

Money can’t buy you Love.

Hi there.

Thanks for popping in.

Wednesday’s blog is when we ponder not so much what we craft or how we craft, but WHY we craft, right?

I must say, I am so grateful to be busy, busy, busy. It stops me thinking too much. Much better to get out of your head and stay with your hands – it’s much safer.

Well, today has been a funny old day in my head. Apart from hustling at work, batting off beligerent distributors and making detailed plans for our Open Days in Crowborough, I have spend a good portion of it thinking about a woman I never knew, but who – ironically –  has been on my mind for weeks! I heard the tragic news yesterday, that Kate Spade, the New York fashion and handbag designer, committed suicide. 55 years old. Leaves behind her teenage daughter and husband of 24 years, who was also her business partner. And all day, inbetween meetings and phone calls, I have been thinking about that. What a devastating end to what was a fairytale life. I mean, she was the iconic darling chic chick of the industry. Only last week, I bought a Kate Spade handbag for our Gracie, for the wedding. They sold their empire to Neiman Marcus a while ago, and were worth many, many millions too. Wealthy, successful people.

But there you go. All the trappings in the world, all the money you could ever ever want or need to buy anything you could ever want or desire. And yet. Nothing was enough to stop her at the jumping off point. Who knows why. Some reckon marital problems. Perhaps there were financial issues. Others say she was bi-polar. Depression has been suggested. My guess is it wasn’t just one thing. My guess is that several things ganged up on her mind, and she hit the eff-it button. For sweet relief. Actually, it’s  none of my business.

I have been sitting with her in my head, because you have to ask yourself HOW is that even conceivable? HOW desperate must she have been? The why’s and wherefore’s are pretty redundant today though. The bottom line is the bottom line.

Many think that wealth is what we must strive for. Material wealth. Financial security. Success in business. Well, she had all that in Spadefuls, if you’ll forgive the pun.

No. No. No.  There are far more important things in life: Peace of Mind. Balance. Good Health. Love. And no amount of money will compensate for the absence of any of these, or alleviate mental struggles.

Yes. So I apologise if this ’ere blog is not all chirpy and light today. But I’m not feeling overly chirpy or light today.

When you spend all your waking days with your nose to the grindstone like I do, trying to keep the business going, trying to build a good place for people to work and play, and a beautiful young, successful artist and mother blows herself out, like a candle in the wind, well. You have to stop and look up, don’t you?

I hope she is at peace now.

Love & Hugs,




40 thoughts on “Money can’t buy you Love.

  1. What can I add to that? So eloquently put as always Barb, and such empathy. Sometimes it takes such a tragedy to make us assess our own way of life and thinking.
    Hopefully, with all the Clarity stuff happening over the next week, you will be able to sit back for a moment, smell the roses and look forward to your wedding.
    Hugs. Annette X

  2. That was so well put Barbara. I discovered crafting as a way of coping with a series of life events and the unexpected death of my mother some years ago and I’m sure it’s the best antidepressant/ therapy, call it what you will. It’s a kind of mindfulness, you just immerse yourself in the moment. Thank you to you and all your team for all the hard work you put in to enable us. It most certainly is appreciated. Kate Spade s death is one of so many tragedies occuring in modern day life where people become so overwhelmed and sadly will have a profound effect on those left behind.

  3. It’s time to make a card, a something, for that person around me that just needs to know I do love them.
    For no other reason than they are the gift of a sister my mother gave me when I was 2 yrs old.

  4. I think we would all have a shock to discover just how many people have been there, but have taken that small step back from the brink – just in time. ♡

  5. Bless you Barb – thank you for sharing the contents of your head today. I agree with all that you have said. Such a tragic thing to happen, so very sad.
    Happiness means different things to different people. I remember seeing a saying, a long time ago –
    ‘The happiest people are those who are content with what they have’.
    I think that is SO true. I for one never envy people with bigger houses or better cars and even more crafting goodies – than me. I consider myself to be very fortunate. I found my best friend and soulmate – eventually! Having previously been married to ‘Mr Wrong’ for very many years.
    As previously said – please make sure that you have some time to enjoy the build-up to your wedding – when you will also marry your ‘Mr Right!’
    Love and hugs, Gilly xxx

  6. I always think it’s so sad to feel that ending your life is the only way out of your problems. Awful for those left behind too, having to live with the nagging doubt of could I have done more, why didn’t I notice how bad things were. My only hope is that with people becoming more aware of mental health issues and all the campaigns to encourage people to be more open and talk about things will save people from taking such a final heartbreaking step. Xx

  7. I cannot add anything to all that you have said. It saddens when anyone takes their own life as I think it is so precious but they have their reasons. We have never been wealthy but have been happily married for 47 years and blessed with all our children. Try to enjoy the preparations even though it is a stressful time. xx

  8. Hello Barbara – can’t add much to that, beautifully put. Sometimes it is a tragedy that pulls us up by the boot straps and makes us realise, that despite the ups and downs of life, just how lucky we are. We keep going one step at a time, one day at a time. Lots of love to everyone, wherever you are, blessings to you all Donna x

  9. Hi Barb,
    Such a very poignant blog today and as ever you’ve told it with such empathy and compassion. It is always the family that are left behind that I feel sorry for wondering whether they could have done more. I hope that you will allow yourself time to enjoy the run up to Crowborough which I know you love, but more importantly to the wedding. Give yourself some time off, there are plenty of good people working for you who are extremely capable of filling in for a while. Dave also needs that time as well. You have definitely found your Mr Right ( as Gilly says) in him.

    1. Hi bloggy friends,
      Sorry I haven’t been around for the past couple of days – been very uncomfortable and so tired. Dave reckons hospital has caught up with me – certainly no sleep for two nights has!! Anyway, today has been much better. I’ve been for a little walk around the cul-de-sac and joy of joys, had a shower and got my hair washed!!! It was the first time for 16 months that I haven’t had to put a great big bag over my leg to have a shower! Been working hard trying to get my knee to bend a bit more which is so hard. I’m just grateful that the op was a success and that I know the bend will come eventually and I’ll be able to carry on as normal ( well as normal for me!! ) . I’ve got lots of lovely people helping me and caring for me for whom I am so thankful and grateful. Hope everyone is ok. Donna, I’m pleased you’re enjoying your new stamps, I’ve had word that my plates have been dispatched. Sending love and hugs to everyone,Alison xxx

      1. Evening Alison, been thinking about you, glad to hear you have had a good day. Hospital and anesthesia take so much out of you so take it slowly and you will improve a little bit more every day. Sending hugs. xx

          1. Good to hear you are making progress Alison, yes I think the lack of sleep and hospital environment have probably caught up with you. Oh a shower without your limbo, what bliss. Keep up the good work xxx

  10. A very thought provoking blog today Barb. I remember feeling extremely sad when Robin Williams ended his own life – as you say – it is difficult to comprehend what goes through somebody’s mind at that point and that the answer they come up with is suicide – so desperately sad. I have never been materialistic and have never strived to keep up with or be better than the Joneses. It sometimes takes a near tragedy like almost losing your husband to make you step back and realise just exactly what you do have – after all not everybody has even that much. I value each and every day now way more than I used to. This is why I can say I wish you and Dave – two very special people I am proud to think of as dear friends, the very best of everything and a super glorious happy wedding day. Xxxxxxxxx

  11. I’ve been thinking about her too, puts a lot of stuff into perspective. How you get to such a bad place you leave behind your only daughter I cannot bear to think. I hope no-one looks at my iPad history as I even looked up ways to do it last night. Not because I’m thinking about it but hubby and I were talking about Kate and how she must have been feeling, how would you do it etc. He didn’t want me to look but I had to. I didn’t stay there long I can tell you. I consider myself lucky and grateful, I’m looking after 2 dogs and 3 guinea pigs this week in addition to our own 2 fur babies. They are next door and being as good as gold but to have piggies calling you because they want their tea made me happy today ! X

  12. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Barbara. As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety I can understand how you can get to the stage when you feel life is not worth living, as I did earlier this year. Fortunately, I was able to get help in time and am slowly recovering. I think only good can come of the campaigns to encourage people to open up about their mental health and not feel it is something shameful they have to hide.

  13. You are so right, Barbara. Financial wealth is not what we should strive for, but wealth in the love around us. As long as we can feed ourselves and live in reasonable security, that is all we need. When my parents retired, they vowed that as long as they could eat reasonably, and keep themselves warm, anything else was a bonus. So many very high profile “successful” people struggle and we lose too many of them to suicide. Let us look to the positives in our lives, not panic about the negatives. I have been reading a book by Prof Steve Peters called the Chimp Paradox, which I found fascinating, and explained why I was getting real panic attacks and how it was possible to overcome and control the “Chimp” part of my brain. It helped me a lot, and I can also see how apparently balanced successful people can suddenly get to that terrifying point of no return. My sympathies now are with her family who will never understand or come to terms with what has happened. Such a sad thing to happen. xxx Maggie

  14. Poor lady, I have one of her beautiful portfolios-such talent, so sad. I recently lost one of my team to suicide, she appeared to have everything a person could need but she couldn’t have had everything could she? She left two beautiful daughters who she worshipped so what a dark place she must have been in😥
    What it taught me was to tell those close to me what they mean to me, I’ll keep them close and not take anything for granted x

  15. Hi Barbara and everyone, a very thoughtful blog today.
    We all strive to have everything and more ,but are we any happier the answer is no , there are more things in life to be thankful for a loving family and very good close friends .
    It takes a very strong person to go that far ,when they think there is no other way out.
    Take time to enjoy the preparations for the best day of your life to a wonderful man who loves you very much .
    Leave the rest to the Team you have trained and do a remarkable job day in day out.
    Love to all on this blog ,nighty night 🌙
    Lynn xxx

  16. Well unfortunately I’m a good authority on this subject loosing two friends and nearly my sister. It’s an awful illness of the mind, just like cancer sometimes there is nothing anyone can do. It’s awful for the people left behind, I’ve had depression but never as severe . I can’t begin to imagine how dreadful it would make you feel.
    Life goes on so all we can do is our best.
    Love n hugs
    Trudy xxx

  17. Thank you for your words Barbara, this is why I took up crafting 25 years ago it keeps me sane and also helps me forget my pain, anger, sorrow and all that. Thank you for starting me on the world of stamping and progressing me onto stencils and Groovi. Hope the wedding plans are progressing well. Love Zena.

  18. It’s a really sad thing for someone to take their own life . No one ever knows the reasoning why. I always think that people who take their own life are very brave , it can’t be easy to do that. We can only hope her troubled mind is at peace now.

  19. Perhaps a kind word, or someone reaching out, or a beautiful card, or just a smile and simple question from a stranger could and would have made a difference. We’ll never know for this poor lady, but maybe we will all meet a stranger tomorrow or the next day for whom a random act of kindness will make a difference. We won’t know unless we try to make a connection, will we?

  20. Sometimes life just gets too much
    I suffer from depression I have been to the brink but I was very lucky to have so much help from so many people.
    My crafting keeps me going even if I can only do a little it lifts me .thanks for all things clarity love and hugs xxx

  21. Over last few years have understood more about depression and how hard it is some days are harder than others but when I do craft you disappear from everything. Have never needed fine things in life as always felt had everything the low times I found sometimes can be hour by hour then you get day at time and slowly things get better. I’m lucky I’m blessed with a wonderful husband Nd children. But I always feel ending it only hurts those you love but we should be more aware of each other’s needs and care thankful that in clarity we do have those who care on here and the team xxx

  22. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and look at things more deeply and then you realise just how much you have to be thankful for! It makes it easier to deal with the trivial niggly things that often cloud our view on life!
    Love and hugs! Xxx

  23. Hi Barbara
    What a thoughtful blog today. Such a trGig end to a life that many probably saw as perfect. I feel so sorry for the family she left behind, they must be feeling their loss so much and questioning what they could have done to stop her. Just shows that money can buy you a lovely house and anything you want but it can’t buy happiness.
    I hope you have scheduled yourself some me time before the wedding and some quality time with Dave roo.
    Sending hugs
    Love Diane xxx

  24. It’s like so much we read or see in the news or what ever media platform. We will never know the whole story and mostly it’s not that we should know.
    But if only we all took time, just a few moments to ponder the reality of things and what if for the grace of God or who or what ever power or fate go I!
    We might all treat each other better and in turn there may be less of these sad news stories and alike !
    Much love peace and hope to all xxx

  25. Hello Barb, a very heartfelt blog, and I am sure a subject that we are all wondering about the why’s. As you say she appeared to have everything, so what was the tipping point. I too hope she is at peace. We do all strive for security, to have love, to have a balance in our lives, but sometimes the scales are too heavily weighted to one or the other. If we all try do something to reach out to someone in need, we may just be the one that stops sadness and pain. Take care all. Bx

  26. Hi Barbara

    Very sad indeed. Just goes to show that even the most successful people struggle with life and it all gets too much. Hope she is at peace now.

    I got into crafting as my Dad did not have any of the hobbies on cards. I saw a local shop one day selling stamps and the rest is history.

    Now crafting is my getaway from this sometimes cruel world, especially Groovi but getting back into stamping more. You see my partner was diagnosed in February this year with incurable cancer. My world fell apart and my heart is broken.

    Once going through all the why us, life’s not fair etc it was time to be positive – a moment of CLARITY. At the moment he is relatively well and we are making memories. Our plans for retirement won’t happen but some of the things we wanted to do we will do now.

    I don’t think about the future but live in the moment. One of your stamps – Live, Laugh, Love is my new motto.

    So Barbara Gray and your fantastic team, the point I’m trying to make is that all your blood, sweat and toil to make the dream work is fully appreciated by me and allows me to de-stress, to live life and enjoy life, even when it’s sad. So thank you and remember always appreciate each other and know you are appreciated. Love and Hugs Ann xx

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