3 days to Christmas. Crackers!!!
Ho Ho Ho!
I hope you enjoyed the SHAC this morning! Here’s what we drew. I am really looking forward to the New year already, and taking this further.
Three days to go – HOHOHO!
Right, me hearties! Here’s a Festive challenge. Christmas Cracker jokes. You know the ones! The cheesy ones that we read out at the Christmas table!
Right. I’ll get the ball rolling..
What’s yellow and frightening? Shark infested custard
Here‘s another one…a balloon one…
Why don’t balloons ever tell secrets? Because eventually… they let everything out. 😬
Your turn. Give us a Cracker joke below.
We’ll get the laughometer out, and pick a winner. And the winner will receive a £20 Clarity Gift Voucher. There ya go! Winner will be announced Christmas Day xx
Gottabeinittowinit
Love and Clarity
Barb x x x
57 thoughts on “3 days to Christmas. Crackers!!!”
Two snowmen ⛄️ ⛄️chatting. One says “can you smell carrots 🥕 “
Hahaha! Mark was wearing that on his T Shirt at the Rugby Carol gig yesterday!!!
🤣🤣
why did Santa go to school?? ….. to improve his wrapping skills!!!!
what do snowmen wear on there heads.? ice caps..
boom boom 😄
What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!
Hahahaha
What gets bigger the more you take away??????
A hole……..
what’s everyone’s favourite breakfast at the North Pole ? Mistle toast !
Why wouldn’t the kitten climb the Christmas tree? It was afraid of the bark!
I had a go at the balloons today – definitely my prototype as I ended up with a squared off balloon, I think I need the masks 😹 I couldn’t be bothered to look out my moons!
What is father Christmas wife’s name, Mary Christmas
There were a load of medical jokes in the paper yesterday. Ok, not cracker jokes but this one made me chuckle:
Patient: I think I’m a moth.
Doctor: I’m a GP, you need a psychiatrist. Why did you come to see me?
Patient: Your light was on!
Have a good Christmas everyone. Xx
Hahahaha
What sort of music do Angel fish like to listen to?
Answer Christmas Corals.
Ooo – I’m going to save that one! 😆
Ooh – I love Christmas cracker jokes. Here’s a few favourites:
What is a Christmas tree’s favourite sweet?
Orna-mints.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’!
Which Christmas carol is heard most often in the desert?
O Camel Ye Faithful!
Hi Barbara
Merry Christmas to everyone.
What do you call Santa when he loses his pants?
Saint Knickerless 🤣🤣
Love
Ruth & Jackie xx
I did say this one in Paul’s Ten at Ten the other day, but it’s so bad it’s worth repeating! 🤣
Whst does Father Christmas send his Christmas cards in? … Elf addressed envelopes, of course!
Here’ s another – why weren’t there any bids on eBay for Donner and Blitzen? Because they are two deer!
And what’s the favourite Christmas song for the animals at Port Lympne zoo?
Wee fish ewe a mare egrets moose, panda hippo gnu deer!
😄🎅
Did I tell you about my pet Canadian Elk called Christopher, who’s always happy at this time of year? He’s a Merry Chris Moose!
😄🎅
These were great, Ken. Thank you for sharing your humour.
Hahahaha!! You sillysod Ken! 🤣🤣🤣
Missed the Shac this morning but had a lovely afternoon catching up.
What do you call a snowman when he’s melted?
PUDDLES😀
Hahahaha
what do you call a smelly Santa ?
‘Farter Christmas ‘
Happy Christmas🎅
groan Hahahaha
Why was Father Christmas not feeling well, because he had tinselitus🎅
Hahahaha
Can’t remember any jokes – just the fortune telling fish!
Barb,
I decided to watch my first Shac show this afternoon on catch-up. Super chat and demonstration but then my body went into doze mode and I missed some. Thankfully I was able to go back in the catch-up and see the rest. I’ll try to watch some of the other Shac shows in the new year.
I hope Thursday’s Christmas morning chat will be on catch-up! Have a lovely Christmas all.
I have this incredible ability to predict what’s inside a wrapped present.
It’s a gift.
Jane xx 🌸🌼🌺
Not good at cracker jokes but just wanted to say how much I enjoyed the Shac this morning (in fact the last 2 Mondays as well). Nothing complicated just clean calming creativity, the perfect start to the week.
Me too xxx
Such a pretty card Barbara 😍 I really enjoyed watching you change the baubles into balloons this morning… clever lady 🥰
What do you call Santa’s furry best friend? Santa Paws
What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper
What does Santa do when the reindeer go too fast ?
Hold on for “deer ” life!!
Keep smiling peeps 🥰 Much love xXx 🦋💕
can’t compete with the above cracker jokes. Good luck choosing a winner Barbara.
Really enjoyed the Shac so the balloons are on my to-do list (it’s getting very long).
What do you call an old snowman?
Water xxxx
Hahahahaha
A favourite from my granddaughter…What’s a parent’s favourite Christmas carol? Silent night!! Mine won’t be silent, I’ve got the whole family here. How lucky am I x
Hahahaha
knock knock
who is there?
Izabel
Izabel who?
Izabel necessary on a bike?
Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas?
Noel Coward
Hahahaha
Loving the look of the balloons and people must catch up later.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck.
A Christmas quacker
Hahahahaha
Not chrismassy but:
What’s white and goes up and down?
A ping pong ball in a lift (or elevator if in US).
Happy Christmas y’all – we have cancelled it this year as husband’s new hip is a bit troublesome!! (how did Dave get on with crutches?)
Maggie (York UK)
Hahahahahaaha
Q: What did the envelope say to the xmas postage stamp ?
A: Stick with me and we’ll go places.
Hahahahaha
Q:- What’s the difference between a Christmas Alphabet & a Normal Alphabet
A:- A Christmas Alphabet has No l
“How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? Nothing, it was on the house.”
“What does the moon do when it needs a haircut? ‘Eclipse it!”
“What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells, jungle bells.”
Now, back to the boxes……..!
Hahahahahahaaaa
Another amazing SHAC and another amazing project. Barbara, I absolutely love watching you create and I am always in awe. Seeing this project come to be was super fun.
I appreciate and admire all the tips and tricks you share.
Wow, another version of these stick people……love them.
Knock knock! Who’s there? Santa.
Santa who?
I Santa Christmas card to you, did you get it?
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing – it was on the house.
Thank you all for the jokes- enjoyed much laughter.
Thank you Barbara, for all your energy, time, inspiration and stories shared writing the count down blogs.
Wishing the brilliant Clarity Team a Merry Christmas. You all are amazing.
Hahahaha
I can’t think of any cracker jokes but having listened to the groans as I have read the above out, they all brilliant & fit the bill completely x
My cracker jokes ….
What goes Ha ha ha ha bonk?
A gnome laughing his head off
What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
No idea
xXx
What do you call a sleeping reindeer with no eyes?
Still no idea
Loving all these jokes.
Here’s my offering.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A Walk!
Made me lol.
Love and hugs. Xxx
Why was the snowman raking about in a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose!
What a lot !!! Haven’t watched the show yet. Maybe on Boxing Day . Take care.
Why did the gingerbread go to the doctors? Because he felt a bit crummy .
Why shouldn’t you linger at the fruit and veg counter at this time of year? There’s too many snowmen picking their noses!