Thanks for popping in; it means a lot to me. It signifies that my time spent writing to you, blogging, is valued by you.
I woke up early this Saturday morning. Dave was already getting ready to go to work. I had planned on staying at home, so I lay in bed with my cuppa for company, and considered the day ahead.
Always need a plan…
Clean the kitchen floor. Finish the ironing, so we don’t have to circumnavigate the ironing board which has been erected in the kitchen all week, waiting for me to make a move. Change the bedding. Hoover. Go to the local farm shop for freshly picked cherries.
But I felt uneasy. Not sure why. After all, a day off? A day to chill? A day to catch up on personal stuff?
Dave came upstairs to say “bye, see you this evening” – and then it hit me. I didn’t want to be alone. “Give me 5 minutes. I’m coming with you. Paul’s in at the office, and he’ll be glad of the company too”.
Leapt out of bed, threw on some clothes, cleaned my teeth, and was down in the kitchen ready to leave before he’d even found his keys!
We drove across the Ashdown Forest, and I worked it out. I was puzzled why I had been anxious about the day ahead alone. I’m alone every day! Dave goes to work every day! I have spent weeks – nay, months – alone. And I’m usually fine with my own company. Would even go so far as to say I enjoy it. So why the panic this morning? And then I realised. It’s Saturday.
NO SHAC-SHACK. No 500 chattering arty friends to welcome at 10am. Nobody to get dressed up for, nobody to prepare a creative breakfast for. NO COMPANY. And the thought of staying alone in my head all day today just freaked me out.
I think today is the first day I have truly grasped the value of the SHAC Shack for all of us – me included. I knew it was doing the trick, I knew it was helping a lot of people, giving them something to distract them, I knew it was giving ME direction. But today, I actually FELT the absence of our group, our daily get together. It’s powerful stuff. We really are social animals, aren’t we?
Social connection is absolutely crucial to us humans. And even if a pandemic prohibits us from getting together physically, we find a way to get together, to gather. To be a community.
Today, by virtue of the absence of our daily gathering, I actually FELT an impending sense of loneliness, and a fear of spending the day alone with my thoughts. I think all the uncertainty around Covid 19, around the business, is always there, just underneath the surface. But the SHAC Shack forces me to redirect my thinking. Every morning. Take that way, and what have you got? A minefield.
So here I sit, in my office in a ghost ship called Clarity, with Paul in his office two doors along, and I’m writing to my fellow doodlers instead of chatting to them!
Much better that way. No good alone today. You just have to know yourself – and do what you have to do to keep the head clear of demons, right? But who am I telling? Like you don’t know this.
Time to go move some boxes from one room to another. A little physical exertion is good too!
TV at 11am. Hochanda.com
Love and hugs